Dear You Thinking You Need a 10-Year Plan,
Everyone has been asked at some point, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" People always seem to have concrete answers and often go on to say what age they want to be married, when they want to have their first child. But, you don't need to have a ten-year plan. In fact, it's better not to have one in the first place. It's important to have goals and some kind of direction, but you need to leave some flexibility for yourself. A rigid ten-year plan will hold you back in ways you may not expect.
As much as you would like to know exactly when you'll meet the person you want to marry (if you want to get married), you can't predict these things. Sure, some people marry their high school or college sweethearts, but that's not the majority. Most people don't marry the first person they fall for. Saying you plan to be married by age 26 or 29 isn't very realistic. Some people are married at that age, but plenty of people are not. It's corny but true: things often happen when you least expect them to and having a rigid plan will force you to make sacrifices that are likely not worth it. Does it make sense to settle for someone who doesn't treat you right just because you like the idea of being married young? Everyone deserves to be with someone who treats them with kindness and love.
You can't rely on others to make you happy. It's sad, but people will let you down and being able to be happy without relying on others is really important. Your plan for the future should be one that you can pursue on your own without depending on others to achieve your goals. This isn't to say that you shouldn't plan to have a solid group of supportive friends or say that you would like to have a significant other; you shouldn't be crippled by an unexpected lack of support or a sudden breakup.
People change, and so will you. Life experiences give you different points of view. What you want now likely isn't what you'll want in ten years. Give yourself room to grow and change your mind. At the end of the day, you deserve to be happy and you need to make this a priority by not holding yourself back with rigid plans.
Go with what makes you happy now (within reason of course) and live in the moment. It's 2016, not 2026. Don't let your plans for the future hold you back from enjoying the present. We all change our minds at some point. It's healthy and keeps things interesting. You matter. Your future matters. It's scary when things are up in the air, but there is so much to come.
Sincerely,
Present You
