It’s a hard thing to admit, probably one of the hardest, that you are the reason for someone's suffering. I would lie to myself, tell myself that they deserve it, that they wronged me first. But nobody deserves that, nobody deserves to be ridiculed or have hateful things said right to their face. It was wrong of me to say I hate you. It was wrong of me to take revenge. I should've just taken the hurt and forgive and forget. But, only a truly great person could achieve that and I was far from great that day, I wasn't even good. I let my hate for you consume me and I unleashed every vile thing I ever thought about you and I know now that I was wrong.
Even to this day when you message me, I ignore you. Not to be cruel, just the opposite in fact. I'm preventing myself from tearing into you one last time. That wound should be left unopened, so do us both a favor and stop.
For the friends, I’ve left behind. If you know me, then you know I feel deeply. I reveal my flaws, I share my struggles and I hold your secrets tighter than my own. Again, I've failed to forgive. I should have forgiven you, I should have tried harder to hold on to our friendship. I should have lent my ear when needed it. My pride prevented me and I'm sorry. Just know that if you should ever need anything, I’ll be sure to lend a hand or ear, whatever you need truly.
I hate nothing more than hurting the actual good people in my life. I have no excuse. The people who give me life. I can feel the love, from the way you speak to me. Words were never needed. Tho I love you the same, I tend to snap. Sometimes I regret the time I've put into our friendship. I’ll ignore your snap chats and offer you one-word responses. I will jokingly criticize you, even when I know it hurts you a little. I’ll do better, I promise.
I've always hated bullies. How disgusting, when someone takes pleasure out of making a person feel like dirt. I’ve never taken any pleasure out of hurting people, yet somehow I've hurt more than I can remember. It's important to take a second and reflect on how our actions affect others. Every hateful thing I've said has affected you guys on one level or another and to everybody I’ve hurt, I just want you to know I regret it.
