I always heard parents say that they would do anything for their child. They would jump in front of a train or take a bullet for their child. Pretty extreme, if you ask me, but then again, I’m not a parent. While there have been people in my life I have loved unconditionally, I have never known the extreme love a parent has for their child. That was until I heard my mom say the words, “If I could go through my breakup all over again so you didn’t have to, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
In that moment, I knew just how much I meant to her. So much so that she would sacrifice her own happiness for me. What did I do to deserve this? Absolutely nothing. If anything, the way I treated her during my teen years was proof that I was not deserving of this type of love. But for some reason, she felt so sure of her answer.
She was in her last year of nursing school and about to take her boards when she experienced her breakup. She dated her boyfriend for five years, and while she admitted that he did not always treat her the best, she was still brokenhearted. I could not imagine loving someone for five years and then hearing him say goodbye.
Sitting in my bed, brokenhearted after three years of what seemed as close to perfect as humanly possible, I thought, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I know I wasn’t always the person that God intended me to be, but why now? And why with no warning?”
But this heartache wasn’t just mine, it was my mom’s, too. Well, to be honest, my whole family was affected. My parents who saw him as another son, my siblings who looked at him as their big brother, and my grandparents who loved him like their own grandson. Still to my mom, she saw it as her burden to carry. So much so that my dad said that at night she cried herself to sleep because it hurt her so deeply to see me unhappy.
How selfless.
My dad told me after my mom and he broke up he realized that he wanted her back, because while there were many girls out there to date, and he and my mom had their differences, he knew she was never self-serving. If I say so myself, he made the right choice (they made 22 years on the 21st of May) because had he not, I would not be here and most importantly, I would not have the mom I don’t deserve.
So to all of you reading this, every time your mom asks something of you, do it. Every time she asks you where you are because she is concerned, answer her. And every time she tells you she loves you, you tell her you love her back, because while she says you are one of her biggest blessings in her life, realize that she is one of your biggest blessings, too.
So thank you, Mama, I don’t deserve you.
