Let me just start off by saying you were not the problem. In fact, you were kind of out of his league. He didn’t deserve you. If it makes you feel any better, he did the same thing to me, as he did to you. Once a cheater, always a cheater I guess. I know you probably still hate me, I would too if I were you. I used to hate you too. I even used to hate myself. I was young and easily manipulated. I’m sorry for not looking out for you. I had no business getting so close to him. I had no right to meddle in your life. I had no right to hate you when he was the one fooling us both. I had no right to think that you were the problem, that if you weren't so wonderful, maybe he would love me more. I thought you were the problem when the real problem was the boy saying he wanted us both. Shame on him for thinking either of us should settle for less.
For so long I resented you because I was jealous. I was jealous that he told me he loved me at night, but come sunrise there he was, walking you to class. I resented you because I knew he wanted you more, but again, I was young and easily manipulated. He conditioned us to hate each other. He made us believe we were the problem. He was the problem. He was manipulative. He wasn’t good enough for you. You are a queen who deserves to rule fearlessly, not under the foot of a dictator. You did not deserve to deal with his foolery. You did not deserve to feel small. You did not deserve to have the boy that you loved, love someone else too. I am so sorry that I let it happen. I am so sorry I let myself get too close to him.
I still deal with the emotional ramifications to this day. To this day, I still feel like I need to be shown off 24/7 in order to feel validation. I feel like it makes the love more real. I feel like if everyone knows, I won’t have to deal with another me, swooping in and loving my man. I am so sorry for the heartbreak I caused you. I am so sorry I wasted your time with him when you could have been loved by someone better. I’m sorry I was selfish and angry. I’m sorry I was jealous. I’m sorry that I let him hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me, it’s okay. I’m still learning how to forgive myself.
Signed, the girl he hurt too.
