It's been several weeks now since you last looked me in the eye. It's been more than that since you last spoke to me. I just want you to know something, I don't hate you. I never did. You were my sister. You were someone that I would have put my life on the line for. I would have protected you and guarded you with all of my heart and soul.
Yes, I meant to put all of those verbs in the past tense, mainly because now, I wouldn't even cough in your general direction. That night, the night everything happened, the night I basically saved your life and saved you from making more mistakes than you would have ever dreamed of making? Yeah, I remember it clear as day, you probably don't remember it at all given the circumstances. You're welcome for saving you from even more self destruction, by the way.
I gave you everything, trusting that you wouldn't take advantage of me, since you were just inducted as my sister and everything. I trusted you when you told me you hadn't had too much to drink, I would have done that for any sister that was in your situation. The thing is, you took advantage of my kindness. You overstepped a boundary, and for that, I'm not entirely sure you'll ever be forgiven.
I'm a pretty generous and kind person, more times than not, people have done to me exactly what you did. Believe me when I say, you aren't the first, and you won't be the last. However, you betrayed me more fantastically than anyone else I've ever met. And I had a boyfriend that cheated on me for six months, so that's a feat in and of itself. You accused me of things I never did, you put words in my mouth I never said, and you wove the thread of your lies so intricately, that even you believed your own story. I'm tired of playing damage control to your mistakes, especially because you aren't doing anything to clear the air yourself. Quite frankly, I've had enough.
You won't prey on my anxiety any longer. I will do the things that I love. I will not sit back and be a victim to your betrayal anymore. I refuse to let you rewrite the narrative of my short time here at college, and I will not let you hurt me anymore. I am stronger than your lies. I am fiercer than you pegged me for, and I will not take this laying down anymore. If you are uncomfortable with my presence, take it up with me personally instead of the rumor mill. I don't hate you, I don't even want to dislike you but boy have you made it difficult lately.
In fact, I want to thank you, profusely. Because, without you, I would have let people walk all over me for the rest of my life. I would have let people like you abuse, shame, and degrade me for giving my all to make people happy. I learned a valuable lesson from you. Be kind to those who deserve it, and don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't step over puddles for you.
