First off I’m not here as the victim I take full responsibility for my actions just as well for hoe this relatioship has turned out to be...

We’ve been friends since the diaper days, and now as the years have passed we have out grown from each other, but somehow there are still days when we just wish we could have to ourselves and hang out act like fools together like we always did back then..

Truth is we are both in different paths in life and sometimes that is the reason why we get into these little unnecessary fights. When we do we both get angry for how we act towards each other, or simply because we take offence of what we both can say so it’s not as fun then. We are both to stubborn to talk to the other afterwards.

I can say this though I simply let it go if you choose to talk to me good and if not oh well I don’t need to feel bad if I haven’t done anything wrong to you it’s not my fault you like to joke around with me but you can’t take the heat… or maybe because you see me talking to people you don’t like, you like to quickly assume I’m talking bad about you and that blows my mind and I get even more angry at you for even thinking that in the first place!!

That’s why we have other friends besides each other and it’s different with them because we have totally different relationships with them maybe even more things in common so there is no animosity between each other. Maybe it’s better to keep our distance since we are not in any way on the same path it will hurt and does hurt because you are not just my friend you are “MY SISTER” but I can’t go on like this any further, IT SUCKS.... So much that you and I never have had a relationship like sisters , everything was always competition whether t was playing soccer, singing, writing, even how we dressed and acted and when you take a moment to think about it that’s just plain sad.. I don’t know any other two sisters that treat each other like dirt!! You were supposed to be my role model someone I looked up too and someone that would have my back no matter what but that wasn’t and hasn’t been the case. You chose a different route growing up always being self-centered and selfish it is all about you. You never cared to think about anyone else but yourself, even when you have been at your lowest I have always been there for you despite your selfishness. You never like to put yourself in the place of others, but I’m sorry you’re not always right nor am I but I as your sister will tell you when you’re messing up.. yes back then it was worse because you use to beat me up and bully me but not anymore am here to let you know when that because of that there is always so much tension because you never once apologize for all the bruises or scars you have let in me not just psychically but in my mind and in my heart too.

At this point in time I know that no matter what I say or do you won’t care any how you’re always going to think the worse and you’re going to continue being so negative towards me. I just think instead of telling me things like “why are you unhappy with my life”, “why are you so bitter” or “why am I always depressed”… Well if you really took the chance to know me better you would see that I am nothing the opposite of what you say. I feel like your speaking for yourself maybe you should ask yourself that instead of putting that on me! You’re so in denial of your true feelings, or you’re too afraid to make a change. Yes I’m furious because I just wish things were different, I wish we could get along but that seem far from possible…

All I can do is pray to God, each day that someday things will no longer be this way. That one day we can get along and treat each other like the sisters that we are. All I want is to feel like my big sister cares about me just as much as I as your little sister have always cared for you. You know no matter how horrible you can be to me sometimes I always have forgiven you and yea I call you a word or two but you know it’s not literal. I always tell you things like; I can’t always sugar coat things because then I will have failed as a sister I have to let you know the truth when it’s hard for you to see it or accept it, and the other biggest thing I say you’re my sister I will go out of my way to be there for you even by just simply making you laugh or acting like fools together just get your mind of things I can’t promise to make things better because that’s all on you but know this I will help you always to see the light when all you see is darkness.. I love you my big sister and I mean that with all my heart!! I’m just tired of always having to prove myself every time you get mad at me I’m not you’re punching bag..

We both know that growing up so close in age has been nothing but a constant battle but it doesn’t have to be this way anymore we can both make the change to get along and respect each other and stop jumping into conclusions about each other and learn how to communicate with each other and address any issue that come along the way.. That is all I will say..