I’m not really a sensitive guy. I’ve had relationships in the past, both good and bad. The bad ones have hurt, though. I’ve always been one to be afraid of getting hurt, and over the years, I’ve made it so I don’t fall in love, ever. Of course, I’ve had feelings for people but never to the point that I would tell someone “I love you". Then you came into my life. Sure at first it was all cool. You had established what you wanted and I was down with it. You weren’t interested in a serious relationship and I knew that going in. As hard as I tried, though, I slowly started falling for you. Little by little, you started working your way into my daily thoughts; into my dreams at night. But you were a sophomore, I was a senior. I realized that I didn’t want to graduate because it meant leaving you while I went out into the real word.
Finally, I decided to open myself up to you. I told you how I felt, told you that I loved you. You went and shrugged it off. I couldn’t even bare to see you around campus for the next couple weeks. When we tried to talk about it, you knew how to get to me; just cuddle up with me and I become butter in your hands. So now there remains all these unanswered questions. Did you ever have feelings for me like I do for you? Why do you keep lying to yourself about not wanting more? It’s been keeping me up at night. I’ve been getting maybe six hours of sleep every night and that’s being optimistic. I can clear my mind of you sometimes during the day but when it comes time to fall asleep, I can’t help but think about what could be if you actually wanted more.
The worst part is how you’ve managed to kill my confidence. Sure I’ve never been the most confident person; never been the kind of guy to initiate anything with a girl. If the girl initiates conversation, though, I’ve always been able to show that I’m a genuinely nice guy, caring, passionate, committed. I’ve never had trouble getting the girl from there. But the fact that you initiated it, and was able to see firsthand the best I can be, and proceed to acknowledge that I’m the nicest guy you’ve ever met but not do anything about it, makes me question how I do things; makes me question who I am.
The fact that the only reason you can give not being with me is that I graduate soon and you’re still going to be here is weak, to say the least. You know I would do whatever it takes to make us work out while you finish your degree. But I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m in love with you and you don’t feel the same. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get over you, or if I ever fully will. Maybe someday, a few years down the road, if I run into you at some random coffee shop, you’ll be ready to pick up where we left off. For now, though, you’ve broken my heart.
