Dear friend,
Yes, you're still my friend to me. I know you might feel differently, and that's understandably so.
It's strange to think now how much has changed since our time together this time last year. At thatpoint, you were my best friend, my roommate, my lunch date every single day, my workout buddy, my Friday night "Friends" and Chinese takeout companion, my shopping partner in crime, my party in a person, my soul sister, my everything basically. If you're thinking these moments didn't mean much to me, especially considering the way things turned out, I can assure you that you are 100 percent wrong. These special moments with you: our giddy nights out, our trips to the beach, our adventures in the city, our late nights doing homework and eating pizza together, meant the whole world to me, which is what made ending our friendship so difficult for me. Getting to know you was an amazing adventure of a lifetime. You and our time together meant the world to me, and you should know that first and foremost.
However, there were times when I felt that our friendship was doing more harm than it was good. It was intoxicating. We weren't good for one another and anyone with eyes could see that. I tried for you, though I'm sure you would beg to differ and I understand that. I tried long and hard to bite my tongue and tip toe around the problems that were so obviously weighing us down. I tried to dodge every bullet, hurdle every roadblock that came our way, make every excuse in the book for you. I was on your side every time, from the very start, even when you were wrong. Even when it made me look foolish. From the outside, we looked invincible. But between the two of us, I only resented you more and more with each passing day. As much as I loved you, and still do, it was as much as I resented what you were doing to a once in a life time sort of friendship.
Although it may look as though I didn't care enough, didn't try hard enough, didn't put in ample enough effort to maintain our friendship, I tried harder than you know. But in keeping tight-lipped and ignoring the rift between us, I realized no good could come of that. Because that's not what friendship is. Friendship isn't tiptoeing around the other person and agreeing with each other all of the time to avoid conflict. Friendship isn't being dishonest so as to not start a fight or to enable bad behavior as to not hurt your feelings. Friendship is honesty and compromise. Friendship is a two way street, and it requires sacrifice, honesty, and lots of effort on both our parts. Friendships don't work unless we do.
So I don't regret ending things with you or walking away from a visibly toxic situation. I am sorry if in doing so I hurt you, but unfortunately the truth hurts, and love does too.
So if in being honest with you and myself in order to construct a more genuine relationship with one another I let you down, then I cannot apologize.
I can only say that you let me down, too.
Love always,
Still Your Friend
