You betrayed me. You ripped out my heart and stomped on it. You raised me to believe family was everything and then broke mine in half. I hope leaving your family of fifteen years was worth a couple dates and drinks with a home wrecker. Years of traditions, holidays, vacations, and family nights all ripped away suddenly. You didn’t just walk out on my mom, though. You walked out on me too. Ever think of that? And the worst part of it all? I can’t hate you. After everything you have done to my mom and my family, I still can’t get myself to hate you. I hate that I can’t hate you. But that’s what family is; no matter how much you hurt me, I will still love you.
Just because I love you doesn’t mean we will ever be the same. I will never be daddy’s little girl. I won’t go to you for relationship advice or long talks about the woman I am becoming. I will never look up to you as a role model because what you did is like no role model I ever want to be. I will never trust you again, and I will never be able to forgive you. You ruined me. I turned to things to numb my pain and none of it did me any good. I became someone I never planned to be, and was definitely not raised to be.
But after all of the lies, hate and tears, I want to thank you. Thank you for putting me through a hell I never want to return to. Thank you for making me turn to mistakes in high school I never would have gone through. Thank you for making me the strong woman I am today. Thank you for making me talk to my mom when I had no one else. I may have lost one parent over the past five years, but I gained one hell of a mom who not only took on your role as a dad, but just happens to be the one person I learned to count on. She is now my best friend. So thank you for the betrayal and the hurt because I am stronger, healthier, and happier. And my mom and I? We’re going to be just fine.
