Hey you! Yes you---the boy who thinks he’s a man. I thank you!

The first thing I would like to point out is that I referred to you as a boy, not a man. Men fight for what they want. Men can handle a strong minded women. Boys cannot. This is why I would like to not only like to describe how you made me feel, but I would like to thank you.

Thank you for making me realize that you were not who I thought you were. Making me also realize that I’m out of your league when it comes to communication and maturity, so I encourage you to be on your merry way.

Thank you for realizing how you are. Thank you for making me finally feel comfortable in the college dating world and then suddenly take back your feelings like they were never there. Thank you for meeting my family and friends as you lead me on for months. Thank you for when the going got tough (having to communicate with me more than once every few days), you found it easier to back out of whatever we had. Was I not worth it?

Why is it that there a so many boys like you today? Why is "talking" an appropriate label to use describing what you have with someone that you share your deepest secrets with, introduce to your loved ones, visit with for the weekend, and talk to every day? Why is the concept of dating so abstract to you?

You've made me experience every kind of emotion. When you talked about our future, I felt ecstatic. When you cared about what my friends and loved ones thought about you, I got butterflies. When you kissed me, I felt like my feelings could progress to heights that they never had before. But when you compared me to your past relationships, I felt broken. When you said I was the only one, I was charmed. When you started to become too "busy" to use your phone, the overthinking kicked in, big time. You told me you would show me how I deserved to be treated and then up and left. You made me feel like I could finally be comfortable, like I could finally let someone in. When I would wake up to no sweet morning text as often, I began wondering and feeling some stress; asking myself, “why is he not texting as often?” All of these emotions are so confusing and contradicting. This is because although some of them seemed perfect, some were undeserved. Settling for a type of relationship in which the cons equal the pros when it comes to emotions is not a healthy one. Going days without talking and suddenly receiving a "cute" text do not equal each other, nor do they cancel each other out.

Even though it seems crazy and it appears my heart was crushed, I have so much to thank you for. You've helped me realize what I want out of a relationship. Even though its slim pickings nowadays, I want the nice guy who will give me 80's movie moments. The one who's scared to lose me. The one who when I ask for more communication (an actual phone call or even a text once a day would be nice), will give it to me happily. The one who wants to know how my days are going, whether they're chaotic or full of joy. Thank you for helping me realize that beautiful eyes don't mean a beautiful personality. You not wanting to "label" things after so much time made me realize that I was not the problem--you were. After several months of "talking," you made me feel like I was waiting for someone who was never coming. The long messages decreased. The horribly-angled selfies became more and more rare. My patience was worn because all I asked for was a bit more communication—the few Snapchats each day and texts every four days isn’t enough for me.

You made me realize that I'm an old-fashioned girl stuck in the age of Tinder and "talking.” Oddly, you made me be okay with being stuck with that. But, I’ve realized that I am so over the immature high school behavior. The fact that you ran when things became more serious made me realize how mature I really am and how amazing I am. I am worth so much, and for you not to see that is your loss. I’m happy you’ve given me the opportunity to be "single" again. I will never settle for less than what I deserve. There is never a perfect time to be "ready" for a relationship and as far as I’m concerned, relationships are now a sign of maturity. We will always be busy, but we make time for the ones who truly matter.

I hope I wake up to some kind of message from you in the near future that I can easily ignore, because now I'm waiting for my 80's moments. I won't settle for someone like you again.

Thank God you blew it.

Much love,

The girl who would've stayed through it all.