I am a 19-year old young woman in college, following my dreams and pursuing my passions. Through all my classes, tests and clubs I'm finding myself and what I want to do with my future, and I also found you.
You were amazing. You were smart, funny and kind. I thought the world of you and soon that is what you became, my world. But through the countless nights spent together, the romantic adventures and silly fights, there soon grew a bigger problem. Me. I was busy with classes, studying and trying to do my best. Working hard on my academics trying get those A's. I was also working, because a girl needs her money for coffee, clothes and what have you. And I was also super involved on campus. I had my sorority, honor society and clubs galore that I absolutely adore being a part of.
When I wasn't busy, I tried to divide my time between you and my friends. You kept asking me constantly when there would be an end to my insane schedule. You began to grow angry. You hated what you called my "distractions," except to me, they were my passions. I was too busy and too conflicted with my time to focus on you. I was intimidating, a "show off," and the longer we were together the more annoyed you grew of my accomplishments. I was too much, so you left me.
With the words still ringing in my ears, I was picking my broken heart up off the ground and started to think, was I really too intimidating? Should I stop trying so hard and focus more on being appealing to a man? Then I stopped myself. If I did that, if I lowered my drive for success and want for achievements, I wouldn't be appealing to a man, I'd be appealing to a boy.
I'm not too much, you weren't enough for me. I'm not intimidating, I'm driven. I'm not too busy, I'm just hard-working. I'm not a show-off, I'm proud, and I should be. I do well in school, along with having a job, volunteering and being very involved on campus. And someday, I will find a guy who loves me for my brains, talents and for the totally awesome person that I am. I will never lower the expectations I have for myself to meet the expectations that a man, or anyone else for that matter, has for me.
Someday that special person will come along and will be so proud of everything I've accomplished. It wasn't you, and for that I'm a little thankful. If you can hardly handle me now, I don't know what you would have done with all the more incredible things I'll be doing in the future. I'm not trying to accomplish my dreams and my goals for anyone except me, and I'm damn proud of that.
