An Open Letter To All These Triple-Number Heat Indexes Across America

Dear rising heat in America,

Stop it. We've had enough.

With these steadily-increasing triple-number heat indexes across the country, the heat is simply getting out of control. I mean, everyone knows summer is the hottest season. But for it to be so hot that the heat indexes reach the triple digits? We might as well all be collectively living in Death Valley. I'm 99.9% positive that this is not a good thing.

I don't know which one I want to happen first: summer coming to a close, or the sun being less hot. Either way, this heat has reached a level of "beyond ridiculous" that I didn't even think was possible. This begs the question, "What can anyone do nowadays in this sweltering heat?"

The short answer is not much unless you want to develop heatstroke at the speed of light. Even just stepping out in the sun for five seconds, let alone minutes is enough to make you break out in a sweat.

The long answer...is the same as the short answer.

So to all the triple-number heat indexes that are popping up across America, I'm gonna need y'all to slow down a bit. And by a bit, I mean A LOT. Whatever happened to the good old days when the sun wasn't this extremely hot? You could just slather on some sunscreen and go about your day without completely being drenched in sweat. Even the summer nights weren't this hot at least 15+ years ago.

I'm starting to sound like an old person reminiscing on the less-hotter summer days, but it's pretty telling when the heat indexes today are at unnatural highs.

To everyone trying to figure out what to do during the summer, just stay home and embrace the A/C. Your body will thank you for this.