I met you on a Thursday, you took me to a movie. You stood by the escalator and you took my breath away. Your smile lit the entire mall and in that second you stole my heart. You held the door for me, bought my ticket and were an absolute gentleman. I could hardly speak the butterflies in my stomach had quadrupled and I was totally flustered. As the movie ended we sat side by side in the theater and in that moment I knew you would break my heart. You held my hand and walked me to my car, and I stared into your eyes so that I could remember that moment forever. The weeks to follow were like a scene out of a movie. Every memory we made together made me realize how hard it would be to go our separate ways come August. But still I was eager to make more memories. We took walks through the park, sat downtown and looked at the stars, we shared Twizzlers and sorbet, as well as laughs and stories. I knew I was going to have to say good bye and I knew this was all temporary, but that didn't stop my heart from falling, and it didn't make this any easier.

In August is when things got real, I could feel myself losing you, losing “this,” and I wasn't sure what I could do to make it stop. I didn’t know if you shared the feelings I had, and I suppose I never will. It was clear that you wanted me to back away to ease the pain and although I knew that there was nothing more I could do to make time slow down, I prayed for one more night.

The leaves are falling from the trees now, soon we’ll expect our first snowfall. But my heart is still in August, remembering our little story. How I broke my own heart this summer because I hoped I could change your mind. How I thought you could be convinced you to stay in my life, despite the distance.

You're just a college boy, with many different priorities, and I've learn to admit that I have lost you and that I'm hurting, but what else could have come out of my summer fling. Maybe it was all in my head, a figment of my imagination. Maybe you went into this looking for something short. I suppose I'll never know what you were thinking that day. All I have as coping mechanisms now are my own memories and emotions.

The fact that I'm hurting is not to say that I am not grateful for all that we've been through together, I'm just learning to let go of one of the greatest times of my life.

It's November, and I still miss you.