Dear Best Friend,
I've met a lot of people in my life that have made an impact on me, whether it be big or small. I've learned different things from everyone. Life lessons, jokes, anything you could think of. Yet, there's one person that I can honestly say has made the biggest impact on me. And that's you.
Sometimes when people talk about their ex, it isn't the nicest thing. They cheated, they abused them, they broke their hearts. I've heard any and every ex story. And I've had some bad ones of my own. But, this one wasn't like that. Ours wasn't the same. Sure, we had a break up with fighting and crying, but there wasn't a certain event that led up to it. I did nothing wrong and neither did you. So, what went wrong?
If I could tell you, I would. I wish I could have an excuse for people when they asked what happened. But all I say is, "we weren't happy" or "we couldn't do it". But why weren't we happy? Why couldn't we do it? In all honesty, there were so many reasons it ended. So many that I want to ignore, to forget.
Some people closest to me didn't like you and I could never understand why. They'd constantly tell me what was wrong and I didn't believe it, but eventually it got into my head. They didn't think you treated me right, but I thought you did. I didn't mind the fake meanness we had towards each other. Because it was just that, fake. I never took it seriously. In the end, I think it was the distance that did us in. It was too much.
Eight months ago, we were sitting in your room and you looked at me and you told me you loved me. And I said it back. And I thought that's how it would be. Forever. I didn't care that you lived so far away or that I was graduating soon and life was about to change. Because I thought you'd be the one thing that didn't change. Five months ago, I took you to prom and had the best weekend of my entire life with you right by my side. And I thought that's how it would be. Forever. Four months ago, you took me kayaking. I'd never felt so free with another person, never understood what it was like to have a second half until then. And that's how I thought it would be. Forever. Three months ago, I spent a few days with you and woke up to you in the morning. It was blissful and carefree. I'd never felt so in love. And that's how I thought it would be. Forever.
Two months ago, I moved into my dorm room in college. We started fighting and the distance was even further. I was hurting, but I still loved you. And that's how I thought it would be. Forever.
One month ago, I couldn't imagine sitting here where I am now, waiting for a phone call that might not even come. It's weird how one person can be such a big part of your life and then they just slowly start to fade away. As if they were never even there in the first place. Yet, with you, it isn't like that. A part of you still sticks around.
You're the one person in my life I'm glad I met. I couldn't imagine not knowing you. You've made such a huge impact. For instance, before I met you, I never would've thought about dying my hair. But a month into our relationship, I was a redhead. You taught me how to fight for what I want. You taught me how to love myself when I thought I never could. You taught me that true love does exist - in your best friend.
I don't regret a single moment of it.
You've taught me so much. Things I'll never forget. And in turn, I'll never forget you. I don't know what to call us right now, but I hope that in time, things work out for the better. There are so many things left unsaid. I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you enough. But thank you. Thank you for being my best friend when I needed one. Thank you for the adventure of a lifetime.
Wishing You The Best,
Kaitlyn
