Hey there!
How are you doing up there in heaven, bro? I know I haven't talked to you in a while, I have been pretty busy and yes, I know that is no excuse. I miss stopping by to see you and talk when I am stressed and it is especially hard to do while I am away at school.
I know that we never met, but you are still important to me. You are still my little brother, and there is nothing that will ever change that. I still talk to you like I would speak to Joey and I wish you were actually around to talk to sometimes. There are many times when I wonder what it would be like to have two little brothers. I feel like it would be absolutely crazy, you and Joey would drive me nuts. But, I would be completely okay with that if that meant you were still here with us.
Every year on your birthday I sit and wonder what you would be doing on that day. I wonder what you would be like and what you would love. I wonder what kind of person you would be and where your path in life would have taken you. Sadly, I will never know because you were taken from us way too soon.
Not many people who have lost siblings never had the chance to know them. That's why it is hard for some people to understand that it can still hurt and that there is still a part of you that actually misses that sibling. I can see how people don't know how it is possible to miss someone you have never met, but it is and it sucks as much as missing someone you have.
There is no reason someone should have to go through the pain of losing a sibling at all. There is no reason why some people are able to keep their siblings and others aren't. There is no reason why anyone should have to deal with having a sibling one day and the next day they are gone.
Even though you were only alive for a day, you still made a big impact on not only my life but also mom and dad's, and I know that they miss you every day. Joey and I wish most of all that it was the three of us running around and doing things and hanging out and bonding like siblings are supposed to do.
There are days where I miss you so much that I just ride over to the cemetery and hang out there and talk to you like I would if you were sitting on the couch at home next to me. There are days where I sneak upstairs and go into mom's memory box of you and just look at all of the things that were yours, even for that short amount of time. There are nights where I lie awake and just hope that you are up there watching over me.
I know that you are my guardian angel. I know that you won't let anything happen to me that I can't handle. I know that you would never let me deal with something alone. I know you were there for my accident, I know you've been there through my heart breaks and I know that you will continue to be there for me.
Even though we've never met, you will always be my brother. And that is why I am naming my first son after you. I will always love you and I want even a part of you that is small in my life.
I love you always little bro,
your big sister.
