Every girl claims to have a “type” of partner she’s looking for. While having a set of standards is important, what so many are failing to realize is that restricting yourself to one kind of person turns into a never ending cycle of guys (or girls) that just don’t fit the bill. It’s easy to set high standards for yourself when you’re good at persuading and getting what you want, but this can only get you so far. It’s important for your partner to be physically attractive in your eyes, no one else’s. Aside from their looks, just being comfortable and happy with a person is so important. People have gotten this idea in their heads that you’re not supposed to be happy all the time, that you’re supposed to fight and hurt. But this should only happen maybe 20 percent of the time at most. If you aren’t heavily outweighing the bad with the good, you’re headed toward a bad ending right off the bat. Even if you only have that 20 percent of bad, focusing on that negativity can tear you down just as easily. If you never think about how great your partner is, or how incredible they make you feel, you won't even continue to feel those things anymore.
When thinking about what you look for in a partner, the list shouldn’t go on for years. That’s exactly how you end up weeding out someone who is potentially great for you. This happens in a number of ways. The first being constantly looking for their flaws; if you look too hard, you're bound to find something that you can turn into a seemingly huge issue. Second, expecting too much out of a person. Of course, they should treat you like gold and surprise you sometimes, but you can’t expect someone to have a pocket full of money to spend on you, for every one of them to have a brand new car or even dress a specific way all the time.
Having a “type” is so limiting when exploring the dating scene. If you seem to always end up hurt, maybe stop going for the kind of guy that makes you feel that way. Most of the time, people don’t even know they’re doing it (trust me, I didn’t realize either). Personally, I always went for the “too cool” hockey players (No, this is not all hockey players), who didn’t want a relationship, didn’t spend any time at home and were always looking for a good time. Why I thought this was a good idea, I don’t know, but realizing that they all had some of these qualities in common was what led me to realize maybe I should be looking elsewhere.
Especially with social media today, everyone has found a whole new standard for relationships, all because they want “relationship goals.” News flash, half of these goals are completely unattainable for most. Yes, if it’s just someone who can cook, buy you a rose or lay back and watch the stars with you, these things are attainable. But the tweets containing a Range Rover with a big red bow, $20,000 shoes or even big proposals, you can’t honestly expect all of these things. I’m lucky to have a guy that treats me like a queen and spoils me in little ways all the time. It’s not about how much he spends on me or if the jewelry was name brand, it’s about feeling spoiled by the fact you have that person in the first place. If you think your type is a tall, tan god who kind of seems like he’s 12 most of the time, try for a guy with a nice smile and compliments that make your heart skip a beat. It’s good to have standards, but when standards turn into expectations, you’ll lose sight of what a good guy even looks like. I’m not saying it’s easy to find or that your standards are wrong, just remember that if he seems just right, but likes baseball while you despise baseball, he still might be just right! Have an open mind and take chances, it could really get you out of that cycle you’ve been unknowingly riding.
