I’m glad you are reading this, buddy. It means that you really are intelligent enough to remember the name that I gave you and that you personally choose to ignore me when I call it. It isn’t ineptitude, it’s indifference, and this honestly comes as a sigh of relief to me. You see, this puts motive to all the (questionable) actions you have been committing recently. Perhaps you chose to splash your paws in the toilet bowl because you wanted a bath. Maybe you stole the tuna left on my plate in order to test if it really does taste like your cat food. I’m sure that your moody cycles that vary between purring and scratching are truly to remind me that, in this lovely world of ours, you are never sure what is to be handed to you.
Thank you for teaching me the boundaries between sense and sensibilities, and how love and cuddling are all the more gratifying if done in smaller doses of true and infatuating enjoyment. You are such a dear friend to me, and although my hands are covered with scratch marks from your vicious playtime, I just want you to know that I love you. My life has changed drastically since you have come into my life, as I now find myself doing strange things that I would not have otherwise done if I had continued to convince myself that I am a dog person.
After spending so much time with you, I have found that I do not know how to socially communicate with creatures other than felines. For example, the other day I had the unfortunate encounter of babysitting a human child, and -- not knowing what to do with the dribbling creature -- I stuck my hand in front of it so it could smell me. The mother was less than amused, but I was quick to explain that this is the price one pays for owning a cat and enjoying its company in place of the more annoying humans that I was acquainted with, who all seem to conveniently have cat allergies (I have you to thank for this, too!).
On the rare occasion that you allow a mutual show of love and affection -- when I rub my face against you -- I have been indoctrinated by your habits to learn that this is indeed how a hug should be shared. You have shown me the world through the sheets of fur that fly through the household, and truly, it has never been as lovely as it is now since you have become a part of my strange life. For this, I thank you, my fuzzy friend.
P.S.: Please stop scratching up the side of the sofa, or you will, indeed, see the crazy side of this crazy cat lady.
