I am writing this as I am feeling tired. No, I am not writing this because I am “just tired.” I am actually writing this when I am really exhausted.
I remember when a typical excuse is because we are “just tired,” without really giving a logical explanation to support our excuse to get out of anything. If you are anything like me, you will understand what being tired is like.
Tired is the emotion when you have been out of the house all day. Tired is when you shut off the alarm clock and sleep tracker only to sleep a little longer. Tired is when you tend to fall asleep while you want to spend some time reading in a comfortable spot. Tired is feeling drained of all the tasks that has to be done and having to remember every single thing before you leave to go anywhere. No matter the age we are or the places we go, we find ourselves to be tired.
No matter what we feel, we still manage to do things. Even on the days when it feels like Wednesdays or any day that feels terribly long, we still keep going no matter where we are.
It is no easy feat to have a back to back schedule and also manage having a job. My spoons are out at the moment, and here I am writing this. When I am feeling so tired, and it is so early in the night to think of crawling back into bed, I rely on laughter to keep staying awake a little longer. Even if I am completely finished for the day, I do have to think about what is going on in the next day because every minute counts.
The struggle of having a chronic disability, and living with spoons, is exactly that: having to manage how my time will be dedicated to something. If it is a good day, it would be manageable to accomplish anything and everything. If it is a bad day, a lot of being snarky will come to anyone’s way.
Despite how much we do each day and accomplish each week, we need to realize that we can only do what we can handle. We also need to remember that we can treat ourselves to some sleep when the weekend comes. Sure, we might complain or procrastinate, but when we are truly feeling so tired, we can feel it and show it.