Dear Parent,

Let me guess, the bags are packed. The tears are flowing. The camera is in hand, ready to capture every second of your baby’s departure from the nest to the real world. Whether your child is moving across the country or across the street, the upheaval to college is a difficult one. But before the farewell processions begin and the waterworks start to flow, let me assure you, on behalf of all children leaving for college, that this transition is not as bad as you think.

Let me start off by saying that this isn’t goodbye. Don’t let the massive Bed Bath & Beyond shopping list fool you, sending your child off to college isn’t going to suddenly rob you of your role as a parent. Far too often, parents start a countdown to our college departure as if it’s some sort of execution date. However, whether we’re sleeping in the bedroom over or one a plane ride away, we still need our parents. Just because we’re leaving home doesn’t mean we need you any less (in fact, we’re going to need you much, much more) so try not to delve into a far-too-common state of feeling useless. From urgent phone calls asking how to do laundry to seeking insight on future career plans, we look up to our parents, even when we are grown up and living far away. You’re going to be hearing from us a lot more than you expect -- maybe even more than you want.

We can promise you that this isn’t goodbye until we’re blue in the face, but no amount of assurances will ever stop the tears from rolling down a nostalgic parent's cheeks. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sentimental. But don’t waste tears on the idea of “losing” your child to college because that is most certainly not the case.

If you’re going to cry, cry because you’re proud that you’ve raised someone who values academics enough to pursue a secondary education. Cry because you’re honored to have a child who has gained acceptance into a university, which is no small feat. Cry because you’re fortunate enough to have sending your child to college be a reality, something many people can only dream of affording. A child leaving for college is a positive thing, and as much as we understand that, our own self-assurance doesn’t make it any easier to see our parents in pain. Getting emotional over this milestone is to be expected, but channel your emotions to appreciate the positives rather than dwelling on the supposed negatives.

Some of your emotions will stem from the thought of your own future, but some will stem from that of your child. Many parents stress over whether we’re ready for this experience or whether we’ve chosen the right college. Worrying about your child’s happiness is common and understandable, yet not entirely necessary. We chose the college we did for a reason. We’ve had 18 years to prepare for this independence -- an independence that is natural and necessary for further development, might I add. College is undoubtedly four of the best years we will ever experience -- the absolute last thing you have to worry about is our happiness. If you’re going to worry about anything, worry about the lack of home-cooked meals we’ll be suffering from, and prepare for our home visits accordingly.

Unfortunately, stressing over our happiness isn’t the only fear that’s going to keep you up at night. With the newfound freedom of college comes newfound responsibility -- to be safe, smart, and sensible at all times. It’s understandable for you to worry about our well-being. It seems like every day we hear stories of college experiences gone awry. Whether the issue stems from drinking, drugs, or just plain lapse of judgement, there is a lot to worry about. What the stories don’t tell you, however, is about the millions of college students who are smart and responsible during their college career. You don’t hear about the kids who go out at night and make it home as safely as if they were still living with their parents. While your worries are legitimate, keep in mind that the odds are in your favor: for every one kid who abuses his freedom, there are thousands who respect it. Your fears and your worries are all for naught, because your child is just that -- your child. For the past 16 plus years you have raised your son or daughter to be the person he or she is today. You have instilled values and beliefs in your child that make him or her a person of dignity and responsibility, and one that can definitely handle him or herself in a time of freedom.

I’m not going to sit here and say I understand how you feel, because I don’t. I have absolutely no experience to relate to your situation, and until I have a child of my own, I won’t pretend to. But I do know that your child is going to be okay. I know that college is an incredible opportunity, one that is going to do nothing but enrich the life of your child with both education and life experience. The title of "parent" and the duty of a role model has no expiration date -- especially not on the day of “college enrollment.” However, I know better than to oversimplify the emotional task of sending a child to college. No matter what this letter says, you’ll still lose yourself in the sea of memories and the storm of emotions that come with sending a child off to college. But hopefully you’ll soon understand that your child’s enrollment in college is more of a blessing than a curse, and that this transition is not as hard on a family as it is typically thought to be -- just as long as the home-cooked meals during visits aren’t missing, of course.

I wish your kid the best of luck with their college endeavors. And keep in mind that this is not goodbye.

Love,

Emily (Sophomore at Fordham University)