I know you are worried about me. After my third semester at college and nothing has gotten easier, my grades have only gotten worse. However, the biggest worry that crosses my mind isn’t about not graduating, it’s about disappointing you. You guys have always been my biggest fans, have always pushed me to achieve my dreams, and that’s what I’m trying to do - it’s just a little harder than I expected. I never want to let you down and so when I come home it’s hard for me to show you that I’m struggling even though I know all you want to do is help.
I know you get worried when I call you on the phone crying, it’s just because I want you to understand how hard I am working, how frustrated I am and how much I care. And I know you think that I try to do too much, that I often bite off more than I can chew, but I’d rather choke on greatness than nibble at mediocracy. I do have dreams that are bigger than me, that I will struggle to ever achieve, but I’m ready for that struggle. I need you to understand that I am going to fail more times than I succeed. In high school getting A’s was second nature, but looking back, what did I really learn in those classes? I didn’t learn how hard I could be pushed; I didn’t learn how to handle stress. Back then I thought life was simple, easy and that achieving my dreams was not going to be a challenge. But hope has a way of getting lost in college and before coming here I had lofty goals and what I need from you is to be there to remind me of home and of what I am working for.
Yes, school is hard and stressful but I’ve also never felt more alive and happy to have the opportunity to wake up every morning to struggle through another day. Every semester, something new throws itself at me and I’ve never learned more about the kind of person I want to be in these last three semesters than I could ever learn in class. So please don’t be mad when I don’t come home with perfect grades, because I know what I’m doing and it’s the best that I can. I’m living life and I’m experiencing every part of it. I know I probably get caught up in things too much sometimes but there is more to college than just studying all day. There’s more to see in this world than just the words in a textbook.
So all I ask from you is your love, support, and trust that I know what I’m doing and even if I don’t, well I’ll figure it out. It’s time to make my mistakes, but never any regrets. That’s all I wanted to say, please don’t worry, I’ll be just fine.
