To my parents,
What do I say to someone who I yelled, snapped, sighed and got angry at for making me do things that I "just didn’t feel like" doing for all these years?
Thank you.
Thank you for always seeing more in me than I have ever seen in myself.
Thank you for pushing me harder when I want to give up because you know that it is not my absolute limit.
Thank you for letting me be afraid, yet teaching me that being scared should not always stop me.
Looking back, all those times you told me that I could do better, that I had more to accomplish, waking me up earlier and always challenging me, used to make me so angry.
Today I can say that I am thankful that you used to wake me up and take me to the softball field. I am glad that you always pushed me to go to work, to apply to jobs, to make my voice heard and to make a difference. I’m so thankful that you pushed me to think outside the box, to push when my opinion was not being heard or when things were not getting done.
As I watched, many of my friends get away with a lot of things: staying in bed all day; almost failing classes; not trying in academics or extra-curriculars; or, never finding their voices. You never let me do that. You made me go out and find a purpose, a passion, a limit and my own strength.
Our story hasn’t been the norm, there have been some extra obstacles on the way and there will continue to be. But even though you have supported me and allowed me to grieve my new life, you never stopped challenging me. You know that my limits may be a little closer every day, but you push me to make the best of the life you gave me.
Through all of the bad times you never let me give up, through the tears, the frustration, and the anger. I thank you so much for that. For driving me to physical therapy, listening to me whine, and forgiving me when I’m rude.
For listening even when you really don’t understand.
For making me feel like I could take on the world, even when maybe I was just too little for anyone to hear. Looking at my peers, I am so happy that sometimes you get me frustrated for pushing me, because now I am comfortable with pushing myself. I am willing to go out on a limb, to say what I believe needs to be heard, instead of keeping quiet.
You supported me, even when maybe you didn’t agree with my argument. You have built a young woman who isn’t afraid of her own voice.
Lastly, Thank you for teaching me that sometimes I will push myself too far, and it is not wrong to admit when I have too much going on, or I cannot do things on my own. Maybe that is the most important lesson, that although I have been taught that I can take on anything, sometimes I need a little help for my voice to be loud enough.
Thank you for all of it Mom and Dad.
Love,
Your Little One
