Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you. You raised me to be a strong and confident individual. You watched me make mistakes, pick up the pieces of my failure, and rise to success. You encouraged me to challenge myself and pursue my greatest aspirations. You held me when I cried, bandaged my cuts and scrapes, nursed me back to health, and dealt with my dramatic teenage mood swings.

Despite all of the difficulties we faced, you never gave up on me. You taught me the meanings of determination, perseverance, and bravery. You pushed me to step out of my comfort zone so that I could obtain self-advocacy skills. You smiled with joy as I branched out on my own, independently traveled to new places, took on numerous responsibilities, and sought out once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. You were terrified to let me out of your sight, but you knew that sheltering me would only hinder my experience in the real world.

However, there are times when you contradict your words and actions. You insist that you know what’s best for me, but you never value my input; you do not let me take risks that are the key to self-growth. You are often afraid that I will make irrational decisions, that I will hurt myself in pursuit of a more strenuous path, or the road less traveled. You do not give me the chance to prove myself or show how my endeavors are worthwhile. As a result, I often feel disrespected.

Your fears cause you to be oblivious to my emotions, detached from the pain you unknowingly inflict upon me. You raised me to be independent. You raised me to fight for what I believe in and trust family with the knowledge of my goals and intentions. However, you often take away my voice. My ambitions are met with silence and my choices are met with skepticism. My outgoing nature is seen as rebellious. I am extremely proud of the relationship we have established over the years, but I feel as though your judgement calls prevent it from reaching its full potential.

I crave a parental relationship in which we hold mutual respect for one another; you are allowed to express your viewpoints, but I am also allowed to express mine. You address your concerns with the decisions I make, but you do not dictate how I should live my life, or make it impossible for me to take risks without the anticipation of backlash. I yearn for understanding. I want all your love and support; it should not be conditional. I do not want to disturb the peace in our family simply because I decide to pursue something out of the ordinary. I want you to be the two people I can count on the most. There should be no need for secrets, whispered conversations behind closed doors, or blunt hostility. I do not want to be met with condescending tones and sighs of frustration. I am your child, but I am also a young adult. I am beyond grateful for everything you do for me. You should never doubt the respect and gratitude I hold for you. I just hope that you can learn to practice what you preach, match your words with actions, and enable me to have a voice. Treat me like the fully capable and reasonable individual that you have empowered me to be. Do not praise someone for taking the initiative to be independent and brave the unknown, but admonish me for doing the same. It is betrayal. I do not want to fall silent, and I do not want our relationship to crumble, but I cannot thrive under the burden of external control. I cannot revolve my life around the anxiety and doubt of others.

I love you, and I want to see change. I want you to trust in your own parenting, the skills, morals, and logic that you have instilled in my heart and mind. Please allow me to prove to you that the decisions I make stem from a sound place. If I fail, then I fail, but I will never know the sweet taste of ultimate success without experiencing the bitterness of mistakes. Overprotection will not benefit any of us. It will only lead to further arguments and distrust. You held me when I cried, bandaged my cuts and scrapes, nursed me back to health, and dealt with my dramatic teenage mood swings, and now I need you to stand beside me as I continue into adulthood. I need you to push me forward, not pull me back. Give me the chance to make you proud.