The summer before college I remember being very anxious. I was anxious about a lot of things: a new place, not knowing what to expect, getting good grades, leaving my mom, and much more. But there was something that made me more nervous than the rest, and that was finding new friends.
I spent a good chunk of my life worrying about friends. I never had a “group”, but I did have a lot of friends from different parts of my life. But now I was going to a new place with all new people and I had to start over. I was very excited to be going to school in New York City, but I could never shake that nervous feeling inside, telling me I wouldn’t make any new friends.
When I expressed my anxieties to people, they brushed it off and told me I would have friends that I felt like I’ve known forever. They were right.
I don’t remember the exact moment I started hanging out with the people I now have come to know so well. In the beginning of the semester, a lot of the floor would hang out in our lounge, and that is where I know most of them from. From there, I’d like to think it was just gravitation. I remember finding them really funny, nice, and genuine. We started hanging out in each others rooms, and that is where we really got to know each other. Soon, we would be hanging out every night, helping each other in times of need, eating together, and going to cool places on the weekends.
These people make me laugh harder than anyone I know. Some nights we are having so much fun, we look at the clock and suddenly it’s 3 in the morning.
Nothing ever feels forced or toxic, which is very important to me. In the beginning of the year, I remember telling myself not to settle for shitty people. I was in a place where I didn’t need friends that weren’t nice or genuine or caring. At first I was unsure about this plan, telling myself that I should have made friends already, or I was being selfish. After awhile though, setting standards for myself was one of the best things I could have ever done. I was able to find good and genuine people that care about things, not just friends that make you uncomfortable or have shitty attitudes. In this group of people are some of the best souls I’ve ever met. And I’m so happy and lucky to have met them in my first few months at college.
If I have any advice to give people going through similar experiences, it would be: Don’t worry. Hang out in the lounge. Join clubs. Eat in the cafeteria. Go to the library. Talk to people. Trust that everything’s going to work out, because it will. It’s okay to be alone. It’s good to be alone. Figure out what you like first, and you will find people with similar interests.
