Dear me,

How are you holding up? I know you're not doing so well, but that's OK. You made it out of high school alive despite thinking you wouldn't make it, and you're really proud of yourself for that. All of those hours you spent stressing over tests and projects paid off, so try to be a little easier on yourself. I know you won't because that's not who you are, but things will work out the way they're supposed to.

I know that your anxiety is bad, and I know that people aren't always understanding about it. Because of that, you don't ask for help as much as you should. There's nothing wrong with needing some help sometimes. You're only human, after all. You're still not all that good at asking for help when you need it, but you're getting better at it. It turns out that there are people who will care, even people you don't know all that well.

That being said, you should try to trust people more. I know you've been hurt more times than you can count, but the only way to find the people who won't hurt you is to open up and give people a chance. You will get hurt again, but not everyone is out to get you like you've been led to believe. Tell the people in your life all of those things you're scared to say. The ones who truly love you won't judge you for any of it.

I know you're having a hard time with friend drama right now. It might seem unnecessary, but by the end of it you'll be a much stronger person because of it. You'll find the few friends of yours that would do anything for you, and they love you just as much as you love them. I promise that one day you'll know better than to let anyone treat you like you're less than them.

All that self-confidence you pretend to have on a daily basis will start to become real. Suddenly you'll start to believe yourself when you say you're cute, and you'll actually feel good in the clothes you wear. You'll be confident enough to pull off those crop tops even though your stomach isn't as flat as it used to be. You'll find that being healthy is much more important than societal standards for beauty.

I'm not going to lie to you, you'll still have more bad days than you'd like to. You'll have days where you aren't all that confident in your abilities, and you'll have days where your anxiety is out of control. That's OK, though. You still haven't mastered your coping skills, but you have a journal you can pour your heart into. And when that doesn't work, there will always be someone a text away to tell you exactly what you need to hear.

Your life doesn't go the way you wanted it to, but where you end up is better than you could have imagined. You go to a great college where you meet amazing people that are excited about the same things you are. Every day challenges you in a different way, and you're able to do so many things you'd never think you were capable of.

Your writing becomes something more than half-filled journals and badly written short stories about who you would want to be in a different world. It turns into your entire life, and there are people out there who will appreciate it and help you mold it into something that's beautiful and inspiring. You'll come to find that there will be people out there who will relate to you, and that connection is what keeps you going.

So I'm asking you to hang in there, OK? Life has so much to offer. I know it doesn't feel that way because all you've ever known is small towns in Florida, but you fight your way out and find that there really is a big world out there full of opportunities for people like you. Being the dreamer that you are gets you to these places, so don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. You've got this!