Dear (place name here),

Divorce is hard on everyone. Especially the children. A lot of people just assume the kids will get two of everything so it can't be that bad. But in reality it tears apart the kids world. Everything they knew, their entire life, is ripped away from them. Their belief in love is changed, their ideas of family and tradition are stolen from them. But despite all of the hurt and negative effects of divorce, children are able to grow and understand life a little better as well.

Divorce allows children to realize pain is normal. It comes often, but just as it comes it goes away. It allows us to learn how to love better and stronger. Although, we children do begin to question why? Why did this happen? Why me? Why my family? Why did they end things? Why don't they love each other?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I never thought my parents divorce was my fault, but I did blame my parents. I resented them for it. But I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to and in fact, you shouldn’t. I am not saying you cannot be angry about what happened, but whatever you do, do not hate your parents. This time is just as hard for them if not harder, and they need you. They need your support, so you can find time to hate them later. And if you do feel like their divorce is your fault, I’m here to tell you it is not. You have nothing to do with the love between your parents, or the lack there of. You cannot control what happens between two people, so in no way shape or form should you feel responsible.

Although, being a child of divorce is never an easy thing, it is nothing like what they tell you in the movies. Yes, you get two Christmas’s, but as you may know, that isn’t always fun. Now you have to make sure to split up your time evenly or the other parent will get upset. You now have to go back and forth between two houses missing out on friends birthday parties or other events because you “had to go to your dads that weekend.” You now are more stressed trying to plan time between both sides of the family while maintaining as close to a normal life as you can with your peers. The extra presents don't matter when you can't see your family whenever you want. They don't matter when you have to give up your old life and traditions.

But as I said earlier, it's not all bad. These struggles help us become stronger and learn the true meaning to love and life and how to be a better person. From running back and forth from family, you learn time management and planning. And we are able to learn so much more and grow as people. So if your parents are going through a divorce, don't think this is the end. Things will get better. Just take a deep breath and sit back and everything will fall back into place. You will never have the same life as you did before, but you may find you like this one just as much. And you will find you yourself are a completely new person. This person loves deeper, thinks more, and understands the tough things. You may come to love the new you. And yes, some things you may not like, it's hard getting used to a new family if you ever get a step family, or moving on from your old traditions, but it will be ok. Just breathe and find peace.

Love,

Someone who went through the same thing