Three years ago, I was getting ready for what wound up being the biggest transition of my life thus far. I was navigating the mysteries of where to rent cheap textbooks, picking up dorm supplies, and talking dorm decor with my roommates-to-be. It's a common scene, but one that carried one wild variable for me. After 18 years of being homeschooled, I was getting ready to learn in an actual classroom setting for the first time in my life.
Now, I'm about to be a senior, and things have changed a bit. The experiences of the last three years have sunk into my skin like tattoos that I, I guess, agreed to have put on my body somewhere along the way. The friends, the enemies, the laughter, the tears; all that good stuff. So, as I enter my fourth and (with any luck) final year as someone who was homeschooled until college, I decided it was time to share what I've learned. It doesn't matter if you were homeschooled for religious reasons or academic ones, if the choice was made because you live with a disability, or because a disability lives within the school system that otherwise would have been mom and dad's Plan A. If there's anything that the world of homeschooled communities has taught me, it's that we're all in this together.
And really, that's the first thing I want you to know. If your experience growing up homeschooled was like mine (and, through various forms, most), you're probably used to spending a lot of time put into groups of your peers who all share the commonality of your homeschooled-ness. Well, congratulations, because all of that is about to change. In college, you are about to face the greatest smorgasbord of new people that have ever entered the periphery of your life at once. And here's the great thing: you can talk to and befriend whoever you want to. All you have to do is put yourself out there.
And that leads to the next thing: don't be afraid to put yourself out there. My mother makes this old joke all the time, about how parents would ask her how she kept me socialized like they thought I was locked in a closet all day. She would make the joke, laugh, and then go off to arrange the next scheduled park meetup or whatnot, assembling all the area homeschooled kids in one convenient area to socialize. In college, things aren't quite so regimented, and you're going to have to learn how to make friends all over again. It might be hard at first; it was for me. Just know that the best you can do is be known by the people who you want to know you. That's how friendships are born.
Thinking about how to end this brings me back to a conversation I remember having within a few different contexts when I was little. My parents would ask if I wanted to do something like join a sports team, or go to summer camp, always mentioning the fact that I would be joining a group comprised almost entirely of public school students. At the time, this thought deterred me on reflex. I had this idea in my head - for reasons which I still can't really identify - that I would instantly be seen as lesser because I wasn't part of that same world as they. A few years later, as I entered the chaotic realm of teenager-dom, I timidly found myself in the exact kind of circles I had once feared, only to find that I wasn't persecuted or ridiculed; I was simply accepted, and even celebrated.
My point is this: your identity as "the homeschooled kid" may follow you to college - in fact, yeah, it almost certainly will to a certain degree - but it need not be detrimental. In fact, it can be a really good thing. I found myself entering college with much better homework and study habits than some of those around me, which I can attribute largely to the independence I was given growing up. It's also an interesting thing to be. Chances are, people will want to know about it out of genuine human interest (if this article is any indication).
If I can give one last word of advice, it's this: yes, the stereotype of the awkward, sheltered kid with weird parents is one you may have to carry sometimes, but remember that it is only part of your identity. You are not yet the person you are going to be, and that is a good thing. You did come from an upbringing many would call unusual. You will have some adjusting to do. And you will be glorious. I wish you the best.
