Dear human,
As human beings, we sometimes tend to judge ourselves pretty harshly. We blame ourselves for things we have absolutely no control over. We criticize, berate and even disparage ourselves, treating ourselves far worse than we’d ever treat other people.
It’s just all too easy to hold ourselves to high standards, and then get frustrated if we fail to meet them. I know I have done this before, and I know I will do it again at some point. Chances are, you will too.
Being hard on yourself is hard--it's hard to fall asleep at night because you keep thinking you could've done so much more that day, and therefore you never feel satisfied. You always want more, and that leads to turning the smallest things into the biggest problems you've ever encountered. You're so passionate you always strive for perfection and turn every critic you hear into something personal. When someone tells you that you could've done something differently, all you hear is "this is not good enough," and that kills you.
You don't like asking for help, because you think you're strong enough to handle everything. You care more about everyone else's problems than about your own, and that sometimes leads to terrible consequences--like developing major cases of anxiety and depression--but you won't tell anyone, because there are very few things you hate more than being vulnerable.
This is why it's hard for you to accept love--loving someone is being vulnerable, and it's hard for you to let that happen. It takes time and effort, but trust me when I tell you it's worth it.
Maybe the key to learning to live with this is accepting that it's there, that it's a part of us. Maybe our goal should be to always be positive, and to be able to recognize when we're being too self-critical so that we can cut that train of thought right away.
In a perfect world, we would always know the exact way to think and what to do to be happy, and we’d instinctively always do those things. Maybe some people do. But I can’t speak for them, because I sometimes struggle. You probably do, too.
What helps me is to focus on progress, not perfection--to forgive myself when I’ve gotten negative, realize what I've done wrong and try to do much better.
Today, if you get down on yourself, remember: You’re doing the best you can, and you have the power to choose, right now, that your best is good enough.
Love,
Another human who is too hard on herself.
