You probably think that I am being over dramatic; that I am making this a bigger deal than it actually was. It probably didn’t mean anything to you. You may even be annoyed that I am still talking about this. You might be laughing, thinking that I am some pathetic girl who hasn’t gotten over you.

Regardless of what you think, I need to say this. I need to talk about it, because I won’t get over it until I officially put this to rest.

You hurt me. You made me believe that I meant something to you. I thought that you cared about me. You told me, more than a few times, that you had 'real' feelings for me. You said that you saw a future with me. I thought that I had finally found someone who cared about me. Maybe even someone who could have loved me.

I opened myself up. I let myself feel vulnerable. I tore my walls down. I let you in. You made me believe that I could trust you.

You lied to me. You never cared about me. You didn’t want a relationship, at least not with me. You told me what I wanted to hear, so that I would trust you. I meant nothing to you. You never had real feelings for me. You ignored me, and all it did was make me chase you even harder. You knew what you were doing, I’ll give you that.

You used me. You only hit me up when you were bored. You thought I was an easy target. You chose me because I was naïve, because I was too nice and stupid to know better. I was inexperienced and didn’t know anything.

You thought it would be easy to persuade me into whatever you wanted, but when I didn’t give in –you got bored, and tossed me to the side. Multiple times.

You left me in the dark. You just disappeared. I tried like an idiot to reach out to you and talk to you, but you were gone. You ignored me. I was left alone, used and heartbroken. I felt abandoned. For a while, I didn’t even want to get out of bed.

I had believed everything you told me, and felt so small and stupid when I realized nothing you said was true. I was ashamed. I felt awful for a long time.

I forgive, and thank you. You may have hurt me so horribly, but because of what you did to me, I learned how to respect myself. I know that I deserve someone who will love me and mean it.

I know I must be patient for the real thing. I may hate it from time to time, but all I must do is remember how you made me feel and remind myself that I am holding out for the best. I rushed into whatever I had with you, because I was tired of waiting – and that’s when I got hurt.

I didn’t wait. I settled for what I thought I deserved. I know better now. So, I am going to wait for what I know I deserve – no matter how much it might hurt. I am worthy of a good, over-pouring love, and I will get it one day.