To the “Good Guy”,
How are you? I mean it when I say that I really do miss you. I miss our conversations, your laugh, and the way I felt almost every time I looked at you. I miss your name popping up on my cell phone, all of your stupid jokes, and hanging out with you watching funny movies. Mostly, I miss the person that I was truly convinced you were.
There are a lot of things that I don’t miss, though. I don’t miss you forgetting to call me back, or canceling on me last minute, or when you would tell me I overreacted for getting annoyed with you. I don’t miss how you flirted with other girls when I was standing next to you, or how I always had a lingering feeling that I was your second choice.
The thing I miss the least though, is defending you every time my friends said that you weren’t good for me. And I hate that I did, every single time. Whenever you would treat me poorly or let me down, my friends noticed, and told me I deserved better. “You don’t understand”, I replied every time, “ I promise, he’s a really good guy.” They would shrug and say okay, and I would swear up and down that you were. Because you are.
By most definitions, you’re a GREAT guy. You’re educated, smart, and funny. You love your family, and work hard for what you want. Your smile is contagious, and you always ask other people how they are. You’re considerate, and kind, and have plans for your future. When you talk to someone you can make them feel like they’re the only person in a crowded room.
And that’s how you made me feel whenever I was with you, and that’s why I fell for you. Yet one thing has become very clear: you were not a good guy to me. When you didn’t call or text back, you made me feel stupid. When you blew off our plans, you made me feel alone. And when you refused the idea of being in a real relationship, you made me feel the most inadequate I’ve ever felt in my entire life. And I was willing to push everything aside, because you made me feel special and alive, but only when you wanted to.
I mean it when I say that I hope you make some girl really happy one day. You are a good guy, and you deserve a great girl. I hope that I was just some misstep in your life’s journey, and that you don’t treat any other girl the way you treated me. I hope that you find the love of your life, and never let her go. I hope that you learn that love isn’t something to be censored or used to manipulate others. I hope that you find someone to give every ounce of love you have, who truly deserves it. Because I know, deep down, that you’re a really good guy.
I also mean it when I say thank you. Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself, and for what I deserve. Thank you for making me feel like I was on top of the world every single time you looked at me. Thank you for showing me how much love I have to give, and for making me realize that it shouldn’t be wasted. Most importantly, thank you for teaching me that it doesn’t matter how good a guy is if he isn’t good to you.
Sincerely,
A great girl who deserves better.
