You will have people constantly in your ear, trying to boost your ego when all it becomes is a dull sound on the other side of a concrete wall.
They tell you that “it gets better” and that you are “so beautiful.”
Though these facts may be true, you aren’t going to believe them. Low self esteem chains your legs to the ground and though you may fuss and fight, you’re stuck. You can not seem to comprehend why people would tell you lies.
You grow tired of people telling you nice things because you feel like they are only doing this because they have to. They want you to feel better but you believe that there isn't any weight behind these words.
You’re feeling lower than lower and you’re getting more anxious by the second. Take a deep breath and as hard as it may be; let your mind slow down. Know that in the back of your mind, behind the deep and dark thoughts and the turmoil that leaves you feeling seasick when you’re standing still, that you are everything they are saying.
Everyone has struggles and you are very aware of this. You tear your heart apart again and again for the satisfaction of others, only for that compassion to leave you an empty vessel. You do not carry enough love to give yourself a sustainable dose.
Understand that your mind is manipulating the way that you’re thinking and it wants you to feel disgusting; to make you feel like a lost cause. But you haven't lost your compassion for others.
So, I want you to imagine your best friend in the world in your current situation.
You would never want someone so dear to you, someone you deem as a special and beautiful person in your life to feel like dirt… so why would you let yourself feel that way? If you treated yourself the way that you treat her, you’d understand how awful you are treating yourself.
Imagine your best friend, your sister, your classmate… believing that they were nothing. It’s a pretty overwhelming feeling of sadness and denial in your stomach aren’t you? Can you believe that you treat yourself the same way? It's a hard pill to swallow when you aren’t the subject of the negativity.
You would never want someone else to feel like they aren't worthy of living, so imagine how your friends and family feel when they see you doing the same thing. They see this light in you that you can't find. They aren't just trying to make you feel better; they actually mean every word they say.
So see this light that they see, pay attention to the way that you see others when they are feeling down and find that beauty within yourself. You are a wonderful person and you would never want anyone else to feel worthless so don’t let yourself forget that you too are a person. Love yourself as much as you love others.
Remember what we said in the beginning, those cliche sayings that your friends say when you’re confidence is wearing thin? I bet you’ve said at least two of those while reading this...so take this as a lesson. They say these things because they are true and they say these things because they love you…..and you love them….you just need to learn how to love yourself too.
So stand in their shoes and walk around a bit, understand that you deserve so much more love than you believe. You are worth walking on this earth and your compassion shouldn’t just be pressed onto others, you have to take care of you as well. Take another deep breath and sit down.
You’re beautiful isn’t as cheesy as it sounds is it?