It's hard to let people in, always wondering if you're going to get hurt. It really sucks always pushing people away; it's not that you mean to, but it's because you are scared, always scared of getting hurt, scared that you might be taken advantage of. You come off as mean and/or rude, but you are just trying to save yourself from the hurt that people bring you. You have had some of the closest people to you break your heart, and you don't know if you can take it anymore.
It's a hard thing to change, because there are always going to be people that hurt you. There will always be people that will come in your life for all the wrong reasons. That's why you keep your heart closed; you want to make sure you don't ever get hurt. Our parents' taught us to love everything, and everyone. It was easy to have an open heart when you were young. You don't fully understand why people are always leaving, and why some people never come back. Heartbreak starts at a young age and takes a toll on the heart. Sometimes, it is easier to close your heart off than to let people in.
Living life with a closed heart is one of the hardest things to deal with. How are you supposed to find love or ever trust someone if you can't even trust yourself? You can't trust yourself to fully open up to people because you are scared. Fear is one of the most paralyzing emotions a human can feel.
It's going to take a special person to rip down the walls of your heart. Once you find that person, you need to hold on to him. He will give you the unconditional love that you need to help heal your heart. It's going to take time, lots of time. There are going to be moments where you don't think you can take anymore; you are going to want to give up and build the walls around your heart all over again. But, he won't let you. He is going to fight and fight hard for you because you are worth it.
You need to remember you are worth every inch of love anyone gives you. Having a closed heart does not mean you need to shut people out; it just means you have to work a little harder to let people in. Without heartbreak, you can never know the true feeling of love.