Dear Younger Me,
You were only 16, filled with innocence and trying to find yourself. Just a junior in high school, trying to find your way, get good grades, fit in with the crowd. Pressured enough as is. Not to add pressure from your parents to always do the right things. Stuck between making mom happy and making your so called friends think you were cool. You were lost, and after that night, you'd become even more lost.
You were never told to beware of the guys with brown hair and brown eyes in your drama class. You were told to beware of the men in hoodies in back alleyways you weren't supposed to be in. No one told you not to trust him with your drink that night at that party. He was in your class, you knew him, you trusted him, you were friends. Never did you think you'd get that cup back with more than just the vodka you had put in it.
What's a roofie you ask? Oh what a young girl, someone please help her. You took a cup back from the boy in your class whom you talked to everyday of her god damn life. Why'd you take the cup you ask? It was YOUR cup, in the hands of YOUR FRIEND. Not bad right? WRONG. Turns out that boy in your drama class was the one to watch out for, but mom wasn't gunna tell you that right? OH, right, she didn't know where you were.
That boy in your class? He wasn't your friend. He was a pig who used drugs to get into your pants. If only you knew that then. But it wasn't your fault, oh god it wasn't your fault. The days on end you sat there crying, wondering what you had done wrong. NOTHING, absolutely nothing. He did everything wrong in this situation, please don't blame yourself.
I look back at you and wish I could be you again. Not having to face the monstrosities of my thoughts. Gain my innocence back. Never have to feel the way I felt when he used me and abused me. But you, you never knew. You never knew how it felt to give someone your trust and become completely destroyed by it. But today I'm stronger and in a way, you could say I thank him, but that's sick. I'd never thank him for what he took from you.
Love you to the moon and back girl!
