Yes, you. The one who opened this article with the hopes of finding some clarity and guidance to ease the pain in your heart. I’ve been there, more recently than I would like to admit. You gave him every last bit of you. You lived to hear his praise and approval and you built a world around him. You’re hurting, and your feelings are valid, simply because you feel them.
You’re crying on the floor at 3 am, you’re bawling into his old t-shirt, you’re holding your breath in class to keep the tears from falling, and you’re belting your heart out to Adele. Good. That is you being brave. That is you getting through it the only way you know how. I am proud of you. But I need to tell you something…
Your self-worth is not found in him. As a matter of fact, your self-worth is not found in anyone. Who you are is not reliant on him, or any boy that follows. Your worth, your value, your merit, is based solely on you. You set the scale of your worth, no one else. And hun, if you don’t know your worth, neither does anyone else. By now, you’ve heard the cliché, “you must love yourself before you can love someone else”. And I am here to tell you that again. But listen up, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. You have to find your worth from inside yourself.
Easier said than done right? And that’s okay. You’re still going to have mornings where you roll over and, for second, you’ll think you feel him lying next to you. You’re still going to lay awake at night wresting with the idea of texting him. And you’re still going to find yourself 46 weeks deep in his new girl’s Instagram. I’m not here to tell you that you’ll magically wake up one day and be perfectly okay and confident in your worth. But I am here to tell you, that only you can get up from that floor, put on your big girl pants, and wipe away the tears. He didn’t know your worth, but you do.
You have so much value and are worth the world. You’re going to make it one step at a time. Begin to understand your own self-worth. Begin to understand that your value doesn’t decrease based on someone else’s inability to see it. I’m not sure who told us that we didn’t deserve a happy ending, but we do.
