I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that he screwed you over. I’m sorry he hurt you and wasted your precious time. I’m sorry that you loved him, a little too much. Girls like you and me love too much and while it’s a beautiful quality to have, it sometimes serves as our greatest weakness.

When you love too much you get hurt, very easily. People lie, cheat, break promises, all of the above, and when you love too much the pain that stems from those ills is even harder to cope with. When you love too much, you fail to realize the truth.

The truth is people suck. They manipulate and take advantage of others for their own self-interest. And, when you love too much, you don’t see it.

You don’t see the boyfriend flirting with your best friend. The best friend dodging your phone calls. The boy that claims you’re the only one he ever thinks about and yet, three other girls tell you otherwise. You don’t see the boy that toys with your emotions. You don’t see the boy that kisses you goodnight but disses you in the morning. You don’t see the boy that, despite the lies, you can’t stop thinking about. You don’t see the boy that “caught feelings" but then cowardly threw them away. You don’t see that your friend was right about him. You don’t see that he was wrong.

You don’t see any of it.

You’re blinded by some distorted outlook on love. And, as a naïve dreamer and innocent optimist, you ignore all the signs.

The signs that tell you he’s a douchebag. That he doesn’t care. That he doesn’t love you. That he will not change. That not everyone changes. That you’re being abused. That you’re being used, over and over again. That it’s a cycle and that everything you thought you knew about love is a sham. A lie. That the little girl you used to be, the one who saw only the good in others was never able to spot the bad. The malicious, the demeaning.

When you love too much it is difficult to listen to that little girl inside of you that is telling you to not only love the world but to love yourself. That little girl that was taught to love everything that is good, but failed to feel the hot breath of that little devil hovering over you.

And then it makes you ask yourself, why can’t I love the way I want to love? Why am I obligated to hold back? I love too much because life is too short to hold back my feelings. Life is too short to withhold from the beauty that is love. So, why is this a bittersweet universe where loving others is praised and yet taken for granted?

I believe that love is anything and everything. It is completely devoting yourself to care for someone. It is enjoying their company, obsessing over their quirks and their flaws. Becoming infatuated by the mass amounts of time you spend with them and the way they claim to love you. Love is complicated and passionate. Love is confusing and heartbreaking. Love is heartwarming and genuine. Love is honest and crucial to one’s existence. Love is whatever you say it is or is not.

When you love too much, your feelings become intensified. When you love too much, you become vulnerable and more likely to fall apart. And yet, how does one even know when they are loving “just enough?” What if you mistakenly love “too little” or “not enough?” What happens then?

Why am I telling you all of this, huh? Why am I bombarding you with the bitter truth? Why am I making loving too much seem so wrong when it feels so right?

In response to your confusion, please know that you are completely and astonishingly amazing. You love so much that not everyone is worthy of it. Not everyone deserves to receive all the love you are willing to give.

So, stop crying. Stop getting drunkenly sad over the guy that didn’t answer your phone call, text, snap chat, direct message, or all of the above. Stop letting those boys take your amazing mass amounts of love for granted. You are amazing. Your love is amazing. And, just letting you know, that boy never screwed you over. That boy never broke your heart. You’re standing tall and your heart is all in one piece. So, please, don’t stop loving too much. Keep loving deeply and immensely.

But, whatever you do, make him earn it. Let him prove to you he also loves too much, and that together, your love is “just enough.”

P.S. If you feel like you heard your heart “crack and shatter into a million pieces,” never say that in public. It is anatomically impossible and amusingly inaccurate because if that were to actually happen you would be dead. Learn from my mistakes and do not say this dramatic exaggeration out loud. It’s embarrassing.

Best Regards,

The Girl That Knows What You’re Going Through