I want to write this post, not for sympathy, or to dog on my ex, but because I am finally ready to open up and empower the girls who feel stuck in a situation like I did:
I know this isn't easy to hear or do, but coming from someone who has been dumped by their ex not two, but three times, please don't do this to yourself.
You think that one day their actions might match their words, so you stay. You think that one day the tears might go away, so you stay. You think that one day the anxiety of carrying all of this dead weight on your back will go away, so you stay. You stay for him because you believe in him. You believe that the love you have in your heart can carry you both.
It can't and it won't.
It will never be enough.
You think that one day he might realize the work you've put in for him. Like when for a whole year you drive hours to see him or all of the times you took care of him when he was sick, or sad, or lonely. You thought it might win him over one day, but it didn't. No matter what you do you never feel good enough.
He won't stop giving you the silent treatment for days at a time. He won't stop putting you down and making you feel like a fool. He won't stop spitting lies of love and a future at you.
One day, one day, one day. It never stops.
I thought that same thought for three years. It feels like a prison that you are voluntarily in and you think he will be the one to set you free.
Well, maybe he will, just not in the way you wanted. You wanted to be free with him, you wanted to be free of all of the worry, you wanted to be free of all of the pain, you wanted to be free of his set ways but only with HIM. Instead, he freed you in a different way. He broke up with you for what seems the millionth time.
This time take what he has freed you with as a gift. Give his belongings back, delete him on social media, delete his number, and delete all of the pictures of him.
Why?
Because you are worth more than him. You have more to offer to the world now that he is gone. Find a hobby. Make new friends. Get that cute boys number. Just PLEASE don't go back to him. He will ruin you all over again.
And you are worth more than that.
You are beautiful, you are caring, and you are kind. You have these traits to offer to someone who won't abuse them. You have these traits to use for something good, not to keep hidden.
This is on him, not you. He lost the one person who will ever coddle him and care for him the way you did. He lost loyalty and trust when he lost you. But instead of being upset or trying to fix it, let a man who deserves you have you. One day there will be someone who really cares about you, really loves you, and who will use his actions to show you that; not just his words.
Take it from me, do yourself a favor, and don't go back to the boy who has broken your heart for the last time.
