Let’s be honest. We don’t know each other, and we will most likely never meet, but one thing is for sure: you ruined my chance. I never had the intentions on liking him, nor did I ever think that he would have a huge impact on my life. During the time that I met him, I never dreamed of how close we would become in the near future. A small lesson that I learned was: you don’t choose who you love, it just happens.
Meeting him brought joy, laughter and many blessings into my life. We would sing and dance in the car, talk about our day, complain about life’s injustices, and dream about the future. We would talk all day and night about our family and friends. We would go on breakfast runs before class, lunch runs in between classes, and my favorite: dinner runs. We would laugh with almost tears in our eyes and until our tummies were sore to the point where we thought we had six-packs. He became my best friend.
When I say he changed me, I don’t mean he manipulated me. On the contrary, he influenced me to be a better person and to demonstrate to the world my true talent of leadership. I was merely just a shy college girl with a semi-small circle who didn’t know the talent that was within me. He influenced me to get out of my comfort zone and become a leader in my family, my community and my campus. He also made me fully believe in myself and my capabilities, for nothing is impossible with hard work, ambition, and most importantly: passion. Whenever I was feeling blue, there he was coming to the rescue! Even though it has been mere months since I met him, I genuinely felt like I have known him my entire life. Without even thinking, I became in love with him.
Everything was perfect. The signs were all there. But there was one problem: he had a broken heart. This became one of my biggest obstacles yet. You ruined his view on love and his ability to emotionally reciprocate to anyone who tried to love him. He believes that everything that has to do with love is a lie and didn’t have the ability to see my genuine heart to really love him for who he is. I have no idea what you did to him nor do I want to know, but really, thanks a lot. Call me love struck, but to me, he was the best guy on earth. What you maybe saw him as a joke or just a friend, I saw him as so much more. I saw that he had an immense love for his family, an incredible ambition for his education, a gentleman with such a kind heart and spirit, it was really hard for me to not like him. I promised myself I would not like him, that he is a good friend to have, someone I needed in my life. There was no doubt that he liked me as a friend, but I tried day and night to help him overcome that and did everything I could to mend his broken heart. I became intrigued by all his interests, even if I didn’t fully understand what they meant. I wanted to be there for him for all his victories and losses, to be his personal cheerleader when things didn’t go as planned, to say, “You can do this. Just believe in yourself!” But unfortunately, I couldn’t. What was a great friendship was soon torn by this emotion. The feeling of having a broken heart. What I wanted more than anything was to share my joy and happiness with him, by not just being a mere ‘crush’ but by being something more. But thanks to you, I can’t.
With tears in my eyes, and seeing all the memories that I have made with him, I have finally come at peace with myself that this is a war that I cannot win. No matter how hard I try to be No. 1 in his life, I cannot win this emotional battle. Many times I have said I quit but I have always gotten back on my feet because I saw nothing but the good in him. The good you decided to play with. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t ever want to find out, but something I do know is that he is truly one-of-a-kind. Thanks to you, I would never know if I could make him happy. Thanks to you, I too, have a broken heart.
