Dear ______,

I am one of you. I am feeling the pain you're feeling and I know the hurt you must be going through. In my hours of despair and anger and sadness, I have hope..... It won't be like this forever.

You use to be in love. You use to be more in love than you ever thought you could be and you don't remember what it was like to be strangers. You use to light up when you saw his face and feel a love so deeply when you finally felt accepted by the family that you now love. It's not just the guy you miss now, it's the family and the pets that you just can't talk to anymore.

You used to call him most nights to say you loved him before you fell asleep because he was the last thing you wanted to hear before you drifted off into sleep. You use to look at every hair on his head and be able to pick out his hands from a crowd without even looking and thank God for blessing you with the most perfect human being. You use to trust with all your heart and love deeper than the ocean itself... until everything changed. You broke up.

Let me be the hope for you, listen close. Don't you dare sit in your locked room playing the saddest songs on your playlist and hide your head in your knees just to sit there for hours and cry all the tears your body is possible of producing.

Don't come up with reasons in your head behind why he really left, or wonder what girl he is talking to now even if you think you already know. Please don't harm yourself or forget to eat... the only one who will have to feel that is you.

Please don't wonder what you did wrong, because most likely, unless you did, it wasn't your fault. Please don't kick yourself for every argument you had or wish you could've been different or changed yourself for him. People change and grow apart and that isn't your fault. There are phases of a breakup.

At first, you will be sad... extremely sad. Next, you will be angry and wonder why he could do this to you or how your love wasn't enough. Lastly, one day, you will be okay again. Sometimes you might catch all these phases in one day and that is okay.

I have a best friend who had a really hard breakup a couple years ago and I remember constantly telling her: "You were a person before him and you still are after." It seemed to really help her to realize that you are your own person... an independent individual who can overcome a heartbreak. My Papaw (Dad's Dad.) sat down with me to talk and made a statement I won't ever forget.

If he doesn't care about you, why would you even waste a teardrop on him? I guess I'm different I guess. If I know someone doesn't care about me I don't give a sh** about them.

This statement itself has helped me because coming from a wise man, he helps me even still to realize I am better than to be crying over someone who acts as if they don't care.

Here is where the hope comes in. You are not a product of your ex. You are not "so-and so's ex-girlfriend." I know the deep hurt in your chest when the person you have attached to doesn't want you anymore. I know it is hard to remember a time you were happy because reminiscing on memories hurt when it is with the absent person you love.

I know what it's like to scroll through your camera roll to find a certain picture of you and your friend and all you can see is the guy who left.

I know what it's like to be talking to your friends or family in a regular conversation and have so many experiences you want to add that relate, but the stories end up going a little like "Oh yeah that's like when ________ and I ...."

Every little thing will remind you of him for a while... the taste of spearmint gum, Justin Bieber, even words like "Oh my" or "Little Buddy" that are now in your vocabulary because if him.

Songs will throw images in your head of how he use to dance to them, or the wink he'd throw at you in the end but this is just the beginning of coping. Please remember the good, but don't forget the bad.

One day, far after all this, I know you will meet a man (or woman.) who will never make you wonder if they still want you, or if they are lying when they say they love you. One day, all of this will make sense and you will come out stronger because of it. Every person you date is a stepping stone for the person you are destined to be with.

You can do this. You can overcome this and you will come out a stronger person if you choose to. Go out, have fun, do what you need to do to heal and never apologize for how you choose to repair the heart you got broken. This breakup will not stop you from living your life.

Sincerely,

A girl learning to take her own advice.

P.S. Don't text him.