I dislike a lot of things, but what I hate the most is seeing the people I love in pain. I hate seeing them struggle, suffer, doubt themselves, and feel as though they're only making mistakes. It bothers me because even though they are venting to me, I know they're struggling with their own thoughts. Lately, I've been so wrapped up in schoolwork and my own worries that I feel like I haven't been caring enough about certain people, so this one is for the friend who is struggling.
So to my friend, I appreciate you. So much. It is important that I say it often not only so you get it through to your head, but also so it becomes a habit for me to express my gratitude for you. Throughout the years, you have offered me a piece of the world I'm not sure I would have been able to attain through anyone else. Not only are you ridiculous and funny, but your grace and maturity are two more traits I admire endlessly, and I want to stress that.
I realize that now is a time of struggle for you, and I'm sorry I'm not doing better to help you. The best I can do is listen to you and give you my opinions, but I wish I could solve your problems. I wish I could say the magic words necessary to rid you of your sadness. That being said, I will try to be better in the future -- to listen better, learn more so I can give you more consolation, and be a positive influence in your life.
What I can say is that you are ethereal. You have the kindest heart the world has ever seen and a laugh worth holding a concert for. You pull yourself out of places you don't want to be and work toward the places you want to go, and to me, that is incredible. It is so much easier to wallow in the places we're in, but you have fought your way through that comfortable feeling and have pushed yourself to improve. I'm proud of everything you have done -- the choices that were good, and the choices you regret -- I'm proud of all of them. I believe they represent growth, and it's clear to me how much you grow with every obstacle you power through.
I hope you never feel like you are burdensome when you talk to me because you aren't. It is a gift to know you, and nothing you ask of me will ever feel like a burden because you have given me so much joy and laughter from our friendship over the years and that is priceless. So continue to write essays and ask me to edit them thirty minutes before they're due. Continue to send 15 texts at a time while I'm sleeping. The least I can do is try and return the favor with what I'm capable of. (Which isn't much, but still.)
