Dear You Know Who,

A part of me still hopes that I am having some type of nightmare and that you really didn’t mean what you said. With every buzzing noise from my phone, I hope it’s you telling me that you want me back. But I know that is very unlikely. And I tell myself I am done crying, but somehow the tears still roll down my face and end up in my lap. And by the end of the night, it’s just a puddle of sadness below me. It pains me to know that you didn’t see a future in us, but to be perfectly honest I didn’t know where we were going or what we were really doing. I still want you to myself, even if that is selfish of me.

I just want to say thank you for creating such great memories with me that I will never forget and I hope you won't either. Thank you for laughing at my stupid jokes and understanding my twisted sense of humor. Thank you for making me feel special. Thank you for making me feel safe in this big city.

I’ve never liked anyone as much as I liked you (even though you’re nowhere near 6’3). I cannot stop thinking about all the fun times we’ve had and I don’t want that to end. I can look back at our experiences and say that they have been some of the best times in my life. I liked who I was with you, I’ve never been so happy to be with anyone. I don’t want to say goodbye because I still care so much about you. But you said this isn’t goodbye and that we will still see each other. I know we can still have fun even if we aren’t holding hands.

I will still miss that part of you that I knew so well. I’ll miss holding your hand and your freakishly long toes. I’ll miss your bad jokes, that always make me laugh. I’ll miss your perfectly straight smile even though you never wear your retainer. I'll miss your unconditional love for Wendy's. But please do not get the 8 for $8, that sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen.

I want us to be happy, even if that means we aren't together.