Anyone who has known me for more than a week knows that I am not a quiet person. I have opinions, and I’m not afraid to share them, even if only one person out of a thousand agrees with me.

Sure, it’s frustrating, and a little maddening (in the British “I need a mental institution” way), but most of the time I feel proud of myself for speaking up. Yeah! I stood up for justice! For truth! For equality! Hooray!

But it’s getting to the point now where every time I check the news (or the trending tags on Facebook, let’s be real) I get a pit in my stomach. Someone else just died. Another bomb went off, or an airplane mysteriously went down. A peaceful protest went south, igniting a barrage of controversy.

Seriously, can we catch a break here? Apparently we can’t, because all I see are heated arguments over current events, like Kaepernick’s protest of the national flag. Or black lives matter. All lives matter. Immigration. Deportation. War. Peace. Refugees. Terrorists. Tax breaks. Corrupt corporations and banks. Trickle down economics. The free market system. Health care. Education. Religious freedom. Women’s rights.

I can’t go a day - or let alone an hour - without stumbling into another “discussion” about the state of this country.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re discussing these things. These are important issues, and if we don’t discuss them, something is seriously wrong with America. I’m glad we have free speech, the right to vote, and enough passion to want to change the world. That is great.

But I’m getting tired.

Where is the peace?

When can I rest?

I can’t ignore the fact that all this debate and arguing comes at a cost. Maybe we could have skirted the cost if we’d thought of it at the outset, but it’s too late now. It has already taken its toll.

Father turning against son. Sister turning against brother. Long-time family friends hurling insults at one another and then turning their backs so they don’t see the wound they’ve created. I have dear friends that I’m scared to talk to because I’m afraid that something controversial will come up, and our friendship will implode in flames. I’m afraid to add new friends on Facebook, because of what they might see on my timeline. Afraid that the boy I just sat with, watching adorable videos of Russian children, will assume that I’m just an angry, warmongering advocate whose every word is a tightrope. One misstep, and it all goes over the edge.

I am ashamed, and I am not afraid to admit it.

I’m ashamed that our beautifully diverse society has been reduced to this. To shaming your former best friend because she dares to associate with someone who thinks differently than you. So maybe we don’t agree on politics, but heck, what if I just want to play ultimate frisbee? Or go to a concert?

“But Serena,” you might say, “When are you going to learn that it isn’t an issue of differing opinions, but one of opinions that are inherently destructive to marginalized groups?”

“Never,” I say. I will not cut off my friends just because they disagree with me. If I am feeling overwhelmed (which, I admit, is an awful lot these days), I will withdraw, but I will not permanently sever a friendship over a difference of opinion. Because everyone has good in them, and everyone can change, even the most hard-hearted, stubborn, and seemingly selfish people you know.

Yes, in America, you have the right to say whatever you want in the public sphere. But it isn’t always productive, educational, or uplifting. Burning bridges and building walls may feel validating and satisfying in the moment, but if we aren’t careful, we’ll each end up on our own personal islands of fear, hatred, and distrust.

So to those that stumble upon those controversial conversations of mine: I’m sorry that it has been this way. I still want to be your friend, but I will respect your decision to build a wall, if that is what you desire. I’m sorry for the differences between us, and I hope that one day you will see me as an ally and as a friend, instead of your enemy.

For now, I propose a day of peace. A day to rest from the spears and bludgeons of insults and opinions fired from people we love.

To revive the jokes we’ve shared in the past, and the hardships we have overcome together. Let’s remember that more than just being Americans, we’re all human. We all make mistakes. We all have fears and dreams and people to love and protect.

I challenge you, America, to lower your swords. Not forever, because we still have lots of things to figure out and to fight for. But let’s call a temporary truce, like the British and German soldiers who sang Christmas carols to each other from opposite sides in 1914. You don’t have to be Christian or even religious at all to simply remember that it’s okay to rest for a bit. They put down their weapons for a greater purpose, and so can we.