Dad,
There is no apology sincere enough to express my regret for how many times, and how deeply I have hurt you. There is also no thank you great enough to show you how grateful I am for the fact that you have kept your heart open to me despite everything. The words I said to you were unkind. The things I spoke to your face, unaware of the damage I was doing not only to our relationship but also to you; you forgave me for without a second thought. It is almost unfathomable to me now that I called you unkind and unwilling to work on our relationship. Now I recognize that that is anything but true. I feel so much regret in my heart for wasting those years of our relationship filled with unjustified anger. I hope you know that you did nothing to deserve that emotion and that it was my mental state that caused the outpouring of rage. I am so blessed to be able to say that my father forgave me and loved me despite everything. You are an unbelievable model of steadfast and unconditional love. You have shown me how it feels to be loved regardless of who I am and what I do. I only hope I can do the same for my children.
I am so grateful that our relationship today is healthy. I treasure every moment with you and look forward to every memory to come. I now see how similar we are and I am glad that I have someone to come to for advice on so many issues. You are the most level-headed man I have ever met; how lucky am I to have you as my father?
The truth is that if I could go back and slap myself in the face for all the time I wasted being angry with you for no particular reason, I absolutely would. Would that have made the slightest difference? Probably not. Unfortunately, I was an angry teenager who needed someone to blame. I am just lucky enough to have an understanding father who forgave me for years of misdirected anger.
I love you. I love you with every breath I breathe. When people ask me about my dad now, I smile and tell them about my goofy, fun-loving, but also brilliant-minded father who can remember things at the drop of a dime. Maybe it took a little distance for me to appreciate you. Maybe it just took a little maturity to realize how awesome you are. Either way, I see it now. I am a really lucky girl.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for forgiving me for every cruel thing I’ve done and every cruel word I’ve said to you. Thank you for raising me to be who I am today. Thank you for loving me despite how easy it would have been to stop. And most of all, thank you for being my dad.
