Dear Father,
I know you expect great things from me, this is something all parents can't help but want from their children. But I feel like you think there is only one path to this greatness, and that is the path you took. It is perhaps the most straightforward path, the most efficient, the least risky. It is the common path. Secure a degree in something foolproof: a type of science, mathematics, law, business, finance, etc. A skill. There is never a shortage of work for someone who pursues a career in one of these fields. They are ever-needed, ever growing.
You want me to live a good life, and to you this means being able to make a living for myself. That is a fair point. I want to make a living for myself, too. But I was born with a more stubborn mindset, you see, one that won't allow me to just survive. No, that would be too unfulfilling. I could never work at an office like you did, managing things I find trivial and virtually worthless for the greater good. No offense. Of course the work matters, in the realm of whatever field it is in, but on the grand scheme of things, not so much.
I am not interested in these little realms, these little bubbles of worlds that make sure the world keeps on spinning, day to day, year to year. No, I am interested in the realm of thought and philosophy and wonder, the one that is never associated with money-making per se, but when you look back at it, realise it is the realm that moves the world, and humanity, forward. And the people who work in this realm are called Artists. There are many occupations within this world: painters, writers, filmmakers, photographers, dancers, musicians, fashion designers, inventors and so on. They are creators. They dedicate their lives to capturing our society, telling stories, breaking down social barriers, spreading awareness, and bringing change to the world. To them, and to me, it is not merely just "making a living." They do not separate the finances from the passion. To them, these are but one.
Yes, I know you think this notion sounds childish, romanticised, and unrealistic. And I agree, in many ways it does. But that doesn't make it any less of a truth. What I want you to realise is that I understand I am taking the harder route. I know this path is swollen heavy with risks, and promises very little in terms of stable financial success. But I also want you to realise that I cannot see myself on any other path. I believe I am good at what I do, and that if I get the support and guidance I need, I will excel. And of this I can be certain: it is the only path where I will give my absolute 110% effort.
And that is really all you truly want for me, isn't it? I know you don't want me to be unhappy with my choices in life, and I know I have already made some big mistakes. But those mistakes were because I listened to other people who told me to be what they thought I should be. This is the first decision I have made in my young life that was made completely on my own. And I am happy with it, and about 99% confident.
The only uncertainty is your disappointment. It weighs me down, it saddens me. I have found what I want to do with my life (after denying it for years because I was told it wasn't practical), before the age of 20! No I haven't worked out every single detail, but how can you expect me to? All I ask for is your support. I have everyone else's. They can see I am sure about this, and truly happy. Why can't you?
-M
