Dear Family Members,

I’m doing well. In fact, I'm doing better than a broke college kid could be doing 3 years into school. But that is all you need to know. So this holiday season please don’t ask me…

How is school going?

Well… how is your third marriage going? I guess college is somewhere along the lines of that, but thanks for asking!

When are you going to graduate?

I’ll get there eventually. And when I do trust me, you’ll get an invitation in the mail or a Facebook post that you can comment on letting you know that I have really been in college, and I have finally made it!

What’s your major again?

PLEASE PLEASE keep this one to yourself, because I promise whatever I am majoring in probably isn’t anywhere near as cool as the pre-med cousin sitting in the corner.

What are your plans once you graduate?

Are you serious Clark? I don’t even know what I am going to do tomorrow… does that answer your question?

As a college student, answering these questions can almost be as exhausting as writing a five page paper in one night. So please, family members, bare with us. It’s not that we don’t love you… our brains are just border-line fried and we are doing the best we can to even be awake at this family function right now.

So Instead of asking us about college, ask us how we’re really doing. Not just in college, but how is our well being, our job, or our social life. Talk to us like we are actual adults who are doing great things in life. I promise it will make family holiday gatherings much more bearable.