So, the holidays are coming. You know what else is coming? Nosey family members and a mini interview about your life. College students in particular experience this almost every year, and I'm here to let you know the questions I, and many other millennials, do not want to answer.
1. Are you seeing anyone special?!
.... No.
2. Aren't you still in high school?
Do I really look like this? Or is this just a subtle way of asking what year of college I'm in, since you don't remember for the 3rd year in a row?
3. What are you doing after you graduate?
BREAKING: I didn't know last year and I still don't know this year.
4. What's your major?
What do you know, I just forgot it as of this moment... it's almost as if I don't want to talk about this.
5. What did you think of the election?
I am really not sure why anyone would think this is a remotely good question to ask at a supposedly relaxing dinner meant to enable you and your family to spend quality time together.
... Quality time.
6. What happened to that guy/girl you were....
It's all fun and games until someone's sobbing over the wine bottles.
7. You're working? Doing what?
No, I don't actually work, I just call it that to make myself feel good. I don't actually do anything. Ever. It's the lazy millennial life.
8. When are you moving out?
Will you be financing my apartment? And my student loans? And my cell phone bill? And the price of gas? And my car insurance? ...No? Alrighty then. Just checking.
9. You're already XX age?
Um... yes? That's what happens? With every year of holidays I get a year older and feel more and more exhausted with each passing year?
10. Have you gained weight?
No comment, although you're the one on your third plate of food. There's a scale in the bathroom.
11. Do you still workout?
Occasionally.
12. Why aren't you going into the ____ field?
We did this already. I'm not doing it again.
13. Your cousin got married/got promoted/has a full time job/has two kids/moved out/has their entire life together.
And maybe, just maybe, one day I can say the same.
But that day is not today. And you will not be the first person I inform.
Have fun surviving the holidays!
