"I just wanna know oh, oh, oh, oh
When did you get so cold oh, oh, oh
What happened to your soul oh, oh, oh
...Guess you don't need me."
~ Lyrics to "I Just Wanna Know" by NF
Dear Family Member,
It is heartbreaking that I even have the urge to write this letter. I am still confused about the circumstances that lead to this point.
You were always kind to me, like all family members should be. You were the picture perfect family that all families would want. I looked up to you. You were the type of family that I wanted my future family to be.
Then I found out that everything I grew up observing was a lie.
You betrayed us. You shut us out. You told us that we were worthless and that you were done. And for what reason? None.
It made me begin to start questioning myself and my family's actions. What did we do? Are we not good enough to be considered family anymore? Was there something going on that we could have helped you with to prevent this from occurring? Why did you do this? And the worst of all: Did you really love us at all or was it all just an act? I hope it wasn't.
I want to know the answers to all of these questions. I want an answer to how you became so cold. I want to know the truth.
One truth is what you did to my family was unnecessary. Correction: what you did to OUR family was unnecessary. You were mean, cruel, and unlike the people I had grown to know over the years. You hurt us.
If you had meant to only shut me out, it probably would not have bothered me as much. I am confident enough to know that if you don't think I am important enough to have in your life, then it is your loss. I am better than that. However, you shut out my parents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and especially my grandparents. You messed with them and that was where you crossed the line.
If I saw you today, right this second, I would have some words to say to you. I would scream and yell at you until I couldn't anymore. Why? So you would know how angry I am. However, I know that it would just cause more problems, not solutions.
If you ever happen to come upon this letter, I want you to know that I will always love you. No matter how angry you made me. No matter what you have done to me or my family. I was raised to love everyone, especially my family, with the unconditional love that was first given to us through Jesus Christ. So as hard as it is, I forgive you. I hope that someday you will want to come back into our lives.
I wish you nothing but the best.
Sincerely,
Me
