Dear Ex-Best Friend,

I hope that you are doing great, I really do. I’m great. I have made a lot of friends, real friends. These people don’t find me annoying, exhausting, or attention seeking. They’re not like you.

Five years is a long time to be friends. That’s a lot of sleepovers, secrets, promises, inside jokes, tears, heartbreaks, failures and successes. We spent so much time together and I knew you better than I knew myself. I was comfortable walking into your house and joining your family for dinner while we waited for you to get back from work. Your parents treated me like another one of their children. We did everything together. I spent more time with you and your family than I did my own.

I guess that’s why I found our “break up” to be so shocking.

I trusted you for five years. Telling you my deepest darkest secrets, my goals, my dreams for the future, who I was hopelessly in love with you, all of my insecurities, everything. We had mapped out our entire lives together, we had even planned for our children to get married so that we would finally be family. Trust is a big thing for me, as I don’t trust easily and I trusted you. I believed in you, I was your shoulder to cry on, your motivational speaker, your very own personal cheer leading squad, I was your best friend. You trusted me and believed in me.

I guess that’s why I found your words to be so hurtful.

Our whole friendship a lie. You said you were just pretending. You had been pretending to be my best friend and you had grown tired of your own game. I had exhausted you and you could no longer lie to me or yourself. You took back every nice thing you had ever said to me, you took away my trust in you, in myself, and everyone else. You hurt me. You made me start to blame myself for this, but you know what? I have nothing to feel guilty for.

I was there for you when you got in trouble at school.

I was there for you when our “friends” were talking shit about you behind your back.

I was there for you when you got a boyfriend and were nervous about your first time.

I was there all those late nights when you were nervous about the future and how you told me you didn't want to leave high school, your family, the life that you knew.

I supported you through all of those things.

Where were you when I felt like my life was falling apart?

Where were you all those nights I found myself crying over what people had said about me?

Where were you when I was nervous about my future, when I didn’t want to leave high school, my family, the life that I knew?

You said that I was a bad friend, that I never paid any attention to you, that I was too wrapped up in myself to notice that you had problems too.

I bet you didn’t even know that I had the same problems. You never stopped talking about yourself and your problems to ask.

But I hope that you are doing great because I’m doing great. A new life experience isn’t scary at all, and I definitely don’t need the one person that promised they would be there for me always, no matter what.

Even though you hurt me, lied to me, broke my trust, and said things I never thought you would say, I still wish you the best, because believe it or not, you deserve to be happy. I care about you and I hope you find someone to put your trust in that you don't have to pretend with.

Signed,