An Open Letter To My (Soon To Be) Divorced Best Friend

An Open Letter To My (Soon To Be) Divorced Best Friend

Here's to your bright future.


I know that you’re going through something incredibly difficult right now. I won’t pretend to understand the gravity of your loss. I would never diminish your pain by telling you over and over that it isn’t a big deal or that it’ll be just fine. This is a big deal. You spent years investing in a future with a partner that you chose and that you loved deeply. You gave pieces of yourself to someone that no one else on this earth has ever or probably will ever know. You can’t have those back now. He took your secrets and your love and he left. I’m sorry. If I could take it away, I would (obviously), but all the sympathy in the world will not change his decision.

There are somethings I want you to try and remember, though, as you move forward from this. First of all, there is a major difference between being lonely and being alone. You are going to feel both, possibly at the same time. Do not allow yourself to fall into this feeling so much that you forget how truly together you are. You are not alone. You are not single. You are not lost in a world that makes absolutely no sense. At the end of every single day, you are surrounded by an army of people who believe in you and who have faith in your strength and perseverance. Remember that.

Your daughter is going to be keeping a close eye on you - like she always has. Keep it in mind that she is learning from you. Let her see what a strong and capable woman looks like. Give her something to be proud of. Let her see how well and easily you can stand on your own two feet and move forward with your life and hers. And on days when you can’t be strong. When the grief and pain are too much to bear, let her see what it looks like to be human. Let her know that there is no such thing as perfection and that it is more than ok to grieve.

When the irrational fear of being alone sets in, don’t let it. Remind yourself of a few key things. Everyone loves you. Everyone. You are easily one of the most beautiful people on this earth, inside, and especially out. And you have an amazing ass. Super smackable.

One of the most important things you can remind yourself of is that a woman of God kneels for no man. If he is truly leaving you for good, let him. You are stronger without a man who can’t make up his mind and you are more than enough without him. If he wants to come back and you want to let him, that is okay, but don’t beg him to stay or come home. When you find yourself falling to your knees, take the opportunity to pray for peace and strength.

The thing that you must always try to remember, is that every single thing in life is an opportunity to learn and grow. Take it. Learn whatever you can from this and find your own self.

I love you and will always stand by you.

Cover Image Credit: Rebbeccha Felice

Popular Right Now

Confessions Of An Only Child: What Life Without Siblings Is Really Like

I may be spoiled, but not in the way you think.

As an only child, I’m a bit of an anomaly. I can probably count on one hand the number of close friends I’ve had over the years who are also only children. This means that when people find out that I’m an only child they usually have a lot of questions. Well, today I’m here to answer these questions and tell you what being an only child is really like.

I may be spoiled, but not in the way you think.

One of the biggest stereotypes about only children is that we’re spoiled rotten. I may be spoiled, but not necessarily with material things. I’m well aware that my parents provided me with a very comfortable life, but I most definitely did not get every toy that I asked for as a child or a brand new car for my 16th birthday. Instead, I was spoiled with love and support from my parents. They attended every band and chorus concert, every dance show and were always there to help me with homework whenever I needed it.

My relationship with my parents has been the most important relationship to me growing up.

Because it’s just been my parents and me my whole life, I have an extremely close relationship with both of them. Without siblings, my parents were my playmates a lot of the time when I was little. I also rarely had a babysitter because it was always just as easy to bring me along. Now, it’s my parents that I go to when I need advice, whether it’s about school, friends or finding an internship. One of my favorite things to do when I go home for the weekend is to go on coffee dates with my dad, and I still call my mom almost every day, even as a junior in college.

Yes, I do wish I had siblings sometimes.

Even as close as I am with my parents, I do feel like I’m missing out sometimes by not having siblings. I don’t have anyone to create inside jokes with about my parents, and sometimes I can get a little lonely. I also get to see the excitement of my friends as their siblings are getting married and having kids, and wish I could experience that, too.

My friends become family.

Because I never had an older sister to give me advice about boys or a brother to look out for me, my close friends have taken these roles in my life. I often brought a friend along on family outings when I was younger, and I share clothes with my roommates like they’re my sisters. I also have a tendency to adopt my friends’ younger siblings like they’re my own (and make sure I never miss their prom pictures).

Being an only child is a foreign concept for many, but it’s all I’ve ever known, and I can’t really imagine my life being any different. Hopefully, this list has debunked some of the myths and answered your questions about what it’s really like to be an only child.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Reasons Why Being The Older Sibling Is The Best— And Worst

You're our responsibility, therefore you have to do what we say.

Older siblings are a different kind of breed. There’s nothing quite like being the “first” for everything, and basically growing up as a built-in mentor for your younger brothers or sisters. In my experience as an older sister, I have definitely grown to love the perks. However, as with anything, there’s always a downside.

For all of the firstborns out there, I have compiled this definitive list of all of the ups and downs we experience to let our younger sibs out there know who’s boss.

1. We’re always right (obviously)

We’ve been around longer, what other reason do you need?

2. But Mom and Dad still believe you over us

You always get the benefit of the doubt and it’s a little unfair.

3. There are more pictures of us around the house

Simply because we’ve been around a little longer.

4. You guys could basically get away with murder

And half of the time you actually get in trouble our parents decide it was MY fault.

5. You're our responsibility

Therefore you have to do what we say.

6. We'll always be the "guinea pig"

Our parents make all of their mistakes with us and you just get to coast on through.

7. We get to forge our own path

We don’t have any expectations to live up to, which is pretty sweet.

8. But we have to "set an example" for you

Because God forbid we’re a bad influence.

9. We secretly love being able to stick up for you when no one else will

It feels great being the go-to.

10. And most all, it's pretty great that we'll always have a built-in best friend

You guys aren’t so bad after all.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Zerull

Related Content

Facebook Comments