An Open Letter To My (Soon To Be) Divorced Best Friend

An Open Letter To My (Soon To Be) Divorced Best Friend

Here's to your bright future.
3118
views

Jessie,

I know that you’re going through something incredibly difficult right now. I won’t pretend to understand the gravity of your loss. I would never diminish your pain by telling you over and over that it isn’t a big deal or that it’ll be just fine. This is a big deal. You spent years investing in a future with a partner that you chose and that you loved deeply. You gave pieces of yourself to someone that no one else on this earth has ever or probably will ever know. You can’t have those back now. He took your secrets and your love and he left. I’m sorry. If I could take it away, I would (obviously), but all the sympathy in the world will not change his decision.

There are somethings I want you to try and remember, though, as you move forward from this. First of all, there is a major difference between being lonely and being alone. You are going to feel both, possibly at the same time. Do not allow yourself to fall into this feeling so much that you forget how truly together you are. You are not alone. You are not single. You are not lost in a world that makes absolutely no sense. At the end of every single day, you are surrounded by an army of people who believe in you and who have faith in your strength and perseverance. Remember that.

Your daughter is going to be keeping a close eye on you - like she always has. Keep it in mind that she is learning from you. Let her see what a strong and capable woman looks like. Give her something to be proud of. Let her see how well and easily you can stand on your own two feet and move forward with your life and hers. And on days when you can’t be strong. When the grief and pain are too much to bear, let her see what it looks like to be human. Let her know that there is no such thing as perfection and that it is more than ok to grieve.

When the irrational fear of being alone sets in, don’t let it. Remind yourself of a few key things. Everyone loves you. Everyone. You are easily one of the most beautiful people on this earth, inside, and especially out. And you have an amazing ass. Super smackable.

One of the most important things you can remind yourself of is that a woman of God kneels for no man. If he is truly leaving you for good, let him. You are stronger without a man who can’t make up his mind and you are more than enough without him. If he wants to come back and you want to let him, that is okay, but don’t beg him to stay or come home. When you find yourself falling to your knees, take the opportunity to pray for peace and strength.

The thing that you must always try to remember, is that every single thing in life is an opportunity to learn and grow. Take it. Learn whatever you can from this and find your own self.

I love you and will always stand by you.

Cover Image Credit: Rebbeccha Felice

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
66620
views

Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

7 Bonding Activities To Do With Younger Siblings

You have more in common than you think.

209
views

Younger siblings can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but they love you a lot. Just because you are getting a little older does not mean you cannot still have fun with your younger brother or sister. Here are seven activities you can do together:

1. Build a fort.

Who doesn't love a good ol' blanket fort?

2. Play a game.

Be careful! UNO can get serious.

3. Have a tea party or picnic.

Make some new tea you've never tried, or go to the beach for a fun picnic.

4. Cook together.

Cooking brings family closer when they do it together.

5. Have a sleepover in your room.

Watch movies, eat snacks and have a pillow fight.

6. Get ice cream together.

Eat ice cream and talk about life.

7. Stargaze.

A quiet night looking at pretty stars in the sky is one of the most beautiful things you'll ever see.

Doing these activities together will strengthen that precious sibling bond, so have fun with your brothers and sisters because they can become your best friends.

Cover Image Credit:

Jenn Evelyn-Ann on Unsplash

Related Content

Facebook Comments