Dear Fellow Cult Members,
Wassup squad?! I sure do love my Cult Crew! Rufus, Peggy, Leisel, and Mick, we joined this cult as complete strangers ten years ago, when we were all nerdy college Freshman, and look at us now. We all wanted a place where we could belong. I remember how at first, we were all super hesitant and not into the rituals and stuff, but then we all spent more and more time together and began sippin' that cult koolaid (literally), and we all started buying into the system.
Do you remember the night of our first blood pact? It was at the end of our first semester freshman year. We were five people from different walks of life, a modern day Breakfast Club. Rufus, with your red hair and buck-teeth, Peggy, with the lazy eye, Leisel from West Virginia, Mick, with your untreated rabies, and me with my charm and grace. We are all so different, and yet, our mutual desire to be a part of something and make friends after every other club we tried to join said no has turned us into one cohesive unit.
Remember over spring break, when we all went to Lake Placid and sacrificed every goat we could find, just so we could all feel like we had something in common? That sure was fun. As we sat by the Lake, with a goat head in each of our laps, drinking our Cherry Cokes (the official Cult beverage), we all sighed simultaneously and exclaimed, "LIFE IS GOOD!"
You people are my everything, you know that? I joined initially as kind of a joke, but now I've worked my way up to being your leader and have wholeheartedly embraced this once-in-a-lifetime role. I love spending every hour with you. I love sharing one large cot with you all each night. I love our conversations constantly only of Gifs in our GroupMe.
I'm not getting paid to say these things, and frankly, I'd refuse the payment if someone offered it to me. Because even though I've alienated all of my family and friends, even though we now live in a cardboard hut outside of a Papa John's, even though we really could be doing something to go out and make the world a better place, I'm glad that we choose to live the way we do. You are all the best Cult a girl could have, and I wouldn't have it any other way <3
#SquadGoals
