Dear Chocolate-Brown Stuffed Bear,

Hello, beautiful. How’ve you been? What’s it like waiting for me to squeeze your cotton belly for emotional support before I fall asleep every night?

I know stuffed bears seem immature and childish. I know you’re probably confused as to why you’re not in the possession of a five-year-old as opposed to being with a 19-year-old college student. I know you’re just a compilation of fur and plush, but you mean so much to me.

I bought you on one of those days when my world felt like it was spinning in rapid circles around me, and I was too dizzy to make it stop. I spent a whole $20 that I did not have in my college fund on a bear that I thought could possibly make everything a little clearer. I walked out of Target that day with an oversized chocolate-brown stuffed bear with legs that are too small for its body. I was strangely unashamed.

At first I thought that it may have been an impulsive purchase I would soon undue the next day. I thought that I didn’t need a stuffed animal lying next to me at night because I’m not a kid anymore. I’m not the little girl who was afraid of the dark and needed to hold her mother’s hand when she crossed the street. I’m technically an adult who is supposed to be “getting her life together” and yet, I purchased a $20 teddy bear from Target.

I could not be more proud of my decision.

I need you, beautiful. I need to hug you until I fall asleep. I need the comfort of your embrace as I stay up late, staring at the tiled wall above me, overthinking every possible life obstacle. I need you to remind me of what I said to myself the day I bought you. I told myself to believe in myself. I told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and believe that I will get through all of those dizzying parts of my day that cause me to feel overwhelmed.

I need to start and end my day with a teddy bear’s furry face smushed up against my cheek. I need you, chocolate bear. More than words could explain.