You ruined me. Not for others, but for myself and for future you. I thought I could fix you. I thought I could be the one that heals you. I thought I could be the one would make you forget the past. Little did you know, how much I cared about you, and you just left me in the dark. You didn’t truly care about us, me, or what could’ve been. You only cared about yourself. I can promise you that one day you’ll see what you did to me, and you’ll regret it.
Run. It’s a verb. It’s what you do every time things get tough. It’s what you do when you’re scared. It’s what you do when you can’t find a solution quick enough. It’s what you do when you can’t decide. You run away from things. That’s you. I should’ve known better. We had already played this back and forth game before. I should’ve known you were going to run. But see, the thing is that I think you’re lost. You can’t find where you’re supposed to be, so you keep running away. I understand where you’re coming from and I understand the battle you have going on inside. Just think, though, what if those things you’re running away from are exactly where you need to be?
One day you’ll look back at the choices you made and ask yourself, why? Well, dear, it’s because you were afraid. You were afraid to ask for help, afraid to let me or anyone else for that matter be there for you. Now, you may be reading this thinking that you know you made the right decision. Probably just because your pride is hurt that I’m writing about you & maybe you did make the right decision in leaving, but I want you to know just how selfish it was. Lost boys like you are the ones that ruin girls like me. We think we can change you. We don’t want you to be lost anymore. We want you to stay. We don’t want to see you running around from place to place, from decision to decision. We want you to be happy.
I want you to know that girls like me are the ones that are protective, the ones that get attached too quickly, the ones that just simply care too much. Boys like you are the ones that don’t care, the ones that are selfish, and the ones that always leave. I know you’ve been through a lot, I think that is what made you this way. I’m truly sorry that someone hurt you but that’s no reason to hurt someone else the same way. I know you’re a good person. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know that you’ll regret it. You just have to do you for a while.
So for now, go on lost boy, keep running. I hope one day you find yourself. Find where you think you belong and find the girl that can help you stay. I hope one day you stop running from reality, face your fears, your insecurities, the girl that hurt you, the girl you hurt, and most importantly face yourself.
P.S- I don’t hate you for running.
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He restores my soul. {Psalm 23:3}
